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Hemp Brownies...
Ate some Hemp brownies last night...
and so here's an early morning Blog...
Date: 10/8/2006 10:58:10 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 1422 times October 6, 06
3:44 AM
"To Best Friend,
and Leslie.
It's O.k. that it's a Mystery."
--John Bradshaw
Inscription
on "Men and Woman
Are from Earth after all."
Effective Way to Deal with
Ten Problems in All Relationships.
Http://www.bradshawcassettes.com
___
Yikes!
I should be sleeping right now!
I have one more day of a fantastic eye opener
Pioneers in Recovery Conference this morning,
the Annual Symposium put on by the Meadows,
where "Recovery becomes Reality."
The Symposium is jampacked with their top
Fellows. I am getting tons of insights,
and recovery is becoming reality right
here and right now.
You can get on the mailing list for this
wonderful event that is held each year:
Http://www.themeadows.org
We had a lovely dinner here at the Enchanted Garden
Intentional Community last night.
Angel made some enchiladas with soy cheese,
Scott made some squash soup, and Anna a nice salad.
We did a heart sharing circle, that for me was a little prep
of this Sundays first Soilmates Sacred Circle this Sunday 2-8 PM.
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1897
Angel also made some hemp brownies.
I ate some big pieces. Maybe that is why I am up now,
or maybe it is a combination of all the incredible insights
I received yesterday at the Annual Symposium
put on by the wonderful folks from The Meadows.
John Bradshaw closed the afternoon session.
His theme was "The Return to Innocence."
John is 72 now. He is four years into
his second marriage, and was happy.
as a lark about his second marriage,
He expressed some upset about his wife's rabbit that
lives in the bathroom, but no relationship
in intended to be perfect.
John is blatantly honest and a model of sincerity.
He absolutely loves his life, and said he
has been sober for 41 years now. His many years
in recovery are paying off in this incredible
new marriage.
I really like this man, and have gained so much from his work
over the years. His work with the Inner Child
is now being validated as more than Woo Woo.
He really gets results.
I have not been with him since the 80's.
I did a number of his workshops then on the Inner Child
and Healing our Mother Wound.
I am really wanting a refresher course,
after Triggering thanks to Best Friend/Twin Soul,
who is God's answer to getting under my skin
and giving me the Big Shove.
Soul Mates, Number 4 of The Seven
Love Cures begins:
"It helps knowing
I'm in it for the growth,
my growth;
I know my life is about
my soul,
and how my soul gains
through knowing you."
Best Friend
inspired that poem.
The Yom Kippur, according to one of my favorite Rabbi's
Stan Levy, is having the courage to go visit our deepest wounds.
That is EXACTLY what was happening for me during this Yom Kippur
and the Meadows Symposium is a perfect way to continue the
Atonement energy.
Best Friend is a master, without meaning to be,
I get so confused and befundled at times
that I do not know up from down or inside from out.
My decision to have her in my life
leaves me no recourse but to grow up.
My Coach Dr. Judith Larkin Reno says that is what is up with me--
my energy is upside down, and inside out!
Not only this--Judith
says that I appear to be Bi-Polar.
I am more Polar Bear.
IF I only had two extremes that would be easy to deal with.
I seem to have a North Pole, South Pole, East Pole...not to mention
that I wouldn't mind watching Pole Dancing performed by
the lovely lady I met in spring
at the Optimum Health Institute.
Terry Real, another master spoke the second day.
One of his themes of his writing is pointing out
grandiosity. Judith points that out too.
I cannot say for sure, if there is a real Santa
Claus. I have never met him personally in recent years. I do know for sure
there is a real Enchanted Gardener--at least sometimes.
I have had people swear they have seen me in places I have never been.
They wonder why I did not say hello.
I heard a report that Edmond Bordeaux Szekely, the 20th Century
Essene Renaissance pioneer,and the cofounder of
Rancho La Puerta, the destination spa in Mexico, had a mystical side.
One person in the know, says, he walked through a locked door
into her room without the door opening. I guess some might
call that an unusual kind of boundary violation.She also said,
that during the Kruschev (spelling?) era, he was doing double duty.
She said he was Szekely was there helping out on some peacemaking missions
undercover, while he was here at the same time!
IT all goes with the territory of abilities the Essenes can develop.
My personal of Your Enchanted Gardener is a cover
for my Essene Ministry.
I once wrote a funny piece about a workshop I wanted to offer--
"How to be in two places at once." That capacity
is also discuessed in "Masters of the Far East,"
a classic work.
I imagine a lot of us would
like to take that kind of course--we are so pulled in so many directions
at once.
Judith says to lay off all the Magic, and just get on with fully
inhabiting this body.
That is where Best Friend comes in.
In all honesty, making love with her is one of the most grounding
events I do. It throws my human part for a hoot when she makes these
decisions--that seem so unpredictable--about when she is going to
be wanting to make love and when she is not feeling sexy at all.
Sometimes, she goes South for six months at a time.
I really got a lot out of listening to Maureen Canning, MAS, LMFT
in her talk yesterday on Treating sexua| and Relational Addiction.
She delineated the Ten Types of sexua| Addicts.
I am not sure if Best Friend and I are Sex Addicts.
I do know we have some very interesting patterns that seem to
repeat.
I do not approach our sex history from a victim place.
I know I have chosen Best Friend, but there are times
when I just have to take a break.
She can run circles around me with her Mercurial nature.
I have never met a woman so intense in her love making.
I lean more toward being passionate. There is a difference.
I love hook, line, and sinker.
Best Friend can share her very loving nature
that inspires poetry. She can turn this whole Universe
on its axis, and then, by the timeshe gets into the car to drive
away, she can be in another world of Mommy duties
and seemingly never look back.
John Bradshaw speaks about being the surrogate husband
for his mother. He says he was the Hero Child, the Star Child.
Bingo! I was more than just the surrogate husband for my mom.
Speak of toxic shame.
I slept with my mother in the same bed from the time I was out of the crib
until the time I was 12.
For me this was a family secret.
At 12 we moved from the home where I was born.
At 12 my mom died of cancer.
My dad--who was a rageaholic in those days--
slept in the other bedroom. I have no idea why.
Sleeping with my mother in the same bed has had its benefits.
I would say, I absorbed her.
Pia Mellody told me a lot of Jewish moms have no
sense of boundaries.
As far as men go, I deeply understand a woman's experience.
I have women constantly telling me that The Seven Love Cures--
The Seven Laminated Poetry Plaques I offer for sale--
are pure medicine. These are words that men need to know
and Women want to hear.
I would never have been able to listen so deeply to a woman had
I not been so close to my mother.
My poetry reflects this.
The conference is sharing a lot about the nature of Trauma!
Bingo again!
My mom died at 12 of cancer.
I have this new insight that came to me
yesterday:
I am likely living out the unfulfilled life
of my mother.
On the male side, I inherited
some interesting qualities that
are also part of my M.O.
I lost my dad to the Jewish Religion.
Much of my Original Pain Work is within
the context of an unavailable father who was the Hero
of his entire community. He was constantly at the cemetary
praying for the dead. I rarely saw him on Sundays.
The extend of our family time was going to Sav-on
for an Ice Cream on some Saturday nights.
I spent my entire childhood developing a criminal
mentality...I would escape on Saturdays to go with my
buddies to monster movies. Coming home, there was my dad--
the Spectre of Right and Wrong--standing at the top of the hill
waiting for his son to come home.
He inbedded in me the phrase:
"You dasn't do that!"
I broke every Rule in the Book. Generations
of Rabbis likely turned over in their Graves when
I stole away with friend Richard and ate Bacon
after my Bar Mitzvah.
Jews aren't suppose to eat pig.
It is called Unkosher.
Every step I take toward making Peace with Religion
is a step that asks me to confront fear and abandonment.
How was a kid who lost his father to God,
suppose to make Peace with God?
It all makes sense from a Soul vantage point.
I believe I choose my parents.
I believe I choose my childhood
for the work of service I am intended to
do in this life.
God, himself, has made me a Prophet for this age.
I am here, as nutzo-crazo as othe Prophets, to straighen
out this Religious mess. I am here to play a role
in Woman Rising, and Best Friend graces me with the
opportunity.
In my own Pi-polarity and Graddiosity, I am convinced
I will leave this life doing my part to
correct the Religious Abnormality.
I am here to help with others to bring down a New Kind
of Spirituality that takes the best from all Religions
and leaves the Patriarchy %¤#&!§-to be composted
with my earthworms. I feel the need for Woman Rising
in my bones. The quality
of writing speaks for itself.
Is it any wonder I love Best Friend so much?
She, too, came out of a rage background.
Her mom as well died of Cancer.
Best Friend/Twin Soul is remarkable in her overcoming of rage,
and yet it is problematic when I attempt to stand up to her
and have my totally honest say.
Friend, John talks about learning to argue well
and stand up for ourselves.
I bought his two set cassette series
"Men & Women Are From Earth After All"
I will give you a Review of those cassettes
before long.
Best Friend is sharp minded, witty,
and can be moody. She has an enormous heart
and is sometimes awkward as she struggles
to find her own boundaries.
She can knock my block off with her tongue if she has a mind too.
I often feel my wound in response to her proclamations
and freedom urges.
My cells reek with abandonment inclinations.
Some times, I am just too afraid to speak my
true peace. Luckily, she reads the Plant Your Dream
blog on occasion, so she can find out what I am really
feeling.
In Truth, Best Friend has never abandoned me.
Not in this life, not in any past life,
but I wonder, what is really going on with this
sex now, sex not now between us?
I listen. I understand what she has to
say, when she speaks about no sex now for
maybe spiritual reasons, or maybe to get over
her crush on another fellow, but I wonder,
is there some part of her that feels power by having the yes and no
between us?
Sometimes it just makes me feel crazy.
This week she is my Yom Kippur Fast.
I feel grateful to just not be in touch
and take some conscious Space.
Back to John Bradshaw...
We took a wonderful photo together.
I told him of my Seed Dream that one day
there will be one million copies of
Because She is a Woman--# 1 of The Seven Love Cures--
in Spas--in woman's Spas.
One of the lines reads;
"A man is a gentleman when he
knows what it means for a woman to take Space."
Men need to take Space too.
Part of John's successful marriage is that
in his Contract with his wife, he let it be known
he needs two days in Solitary a week.
John told me, hold on to the Vision.
I wonder what Maureen Canning would say
about a man who imagines that one day
he will
receive appreciation
from one million women
who all have copies of
"Because She is a Woman?"
Without question, I know
I am writing literature,
I do not believe I was born
to leave this Life without what I have written
speading out, going far and wide.
I am grateful that my stuck bones
and all the pain I can feel
has the capacity to inspire others
to know themselves.
I know the words I take time to write
contribute to the literature that will one day
make Recovery a Reality.
___
The Seven Love Cures and some of my free'
love poems can be found on the World's Greatest Lovers
site:
http://www.lesliegoldman.com/Worlds_Greatest_Lovers/id41.htm
___
FYI
From the Table of Contents page
of The "Language of" series...
What it Means to Be a Woman...
A test marketed edition of
Blue Mountain Arts, that never
was published.
IT included an excerpt from
"What it means to be a Woman."
Authors included...
Maya Angelou
William Shakespeare
Harriet Beacher Stowe
Betty Frieden
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Gloria Steinem
Mark Twain
Louisa May Alcott
Leo Tolstoy
Jane Fonda
Kahlil Dibran
Virginia Woolf
Lady Bird Johnson
Leslie Goldman
Pearl S. Buck
George Sand...
57 hits 12:53 PM
October 8, 06
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