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Real Power
I am feeling anger and outrage.
This is a good thing.
Date: 1/15/2006 1:04:17 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 1031 times
Got some lessons in power in the last 24 hours.
Got some lessons about owning the lost parts
cut off by anger we do not want to feel.
Fear. I have been running a lot of it the last month.
It goes right into my shoulder.
I am feeling a lot of movement of energy today,
some raw power.
I am feeling some BIG anger.
The Crack is where the anger goes,
blocking the connection with the pattern of wholeness
that we are.
Sounds kind of heady.
The Essenes say Real Power is the ability
to cause inspiration.
Lots of anger.
Holding my lip for now about what made me so angry.
I am definitely feeling some new movement
and can say where I will be tonight because it may
be 100 hundred miles from here.
Went to a party last night after feeling this and that headachy.
I challenged myself to go.
I challenged myself to have a good time.
It was a great party.
I Jerked with a Paul the Jerk who reminded me
"It is good to get beyond the talk crap!"
I really shook loose some energy
and it is still brewing up inside me.
I want to scream and yell.
I want to open up the disowned parts on the other side of the
crack.
On the way up to the party, I was starting to feel the anger.
I am a small kid. My father is yelling.
I am a teen. My father remarries to a military minded
woman who likes to yell.
I yell, and she turns and runs.
My father says, "You are ruining my marriage!"
Then I shut up.
Yes, what?
I developed arthritis from keeping my mouth shut.
I want to have more fun.
I want to speak up about the things that are pissing me off
most recently.
I wnat to dig up the crap in the crack.
I am tired of sitting here.
I thought I would be into something luscious this weekend,
but mainly I am pissed at me for letting myself
get stuck where I am.
There was lusciousness at the party.
I am sure something good is going to come out
of these released feelings.
Thank you for pointing me in a good direction.
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