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Me 1-Donut-0
I have been in a battle with a Donut
for a couple days. I won today.
Date: 5/11/2005 2:02:19 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 841 times
I have been fighting with this donut
for a number of days.
It has been chasing me.
I got so far this early eve
to do a stare down at our local Von's Supermarket.
I went up close.
I wanted to see which kinds they had.
I especially am drawn to the glazed ones,
fresh, warm, soft,
just like the Helms man had
when I was a kid.
The Helms truck would come around
even before I could walk.
My mother would go out and buy some.
It was a ritual.
I realized tonight I am hungry for the sweetness
of childhood innocence.
I am missing something I am not giving myself.
I am working very hard,
sitting long hours.
I am questioning if I should back out of
some events I have said I would do in moments
of inspiration.
The bill paying is going slow.
The nurturing is absent.
I did a good survey of the baked goods.
They had cream puffs.
They had eclaires--the chocolate kind
with egg cream filling.
I was glad I went into Vons rather
than the Bakery of my youth.
These just seemed too commercial,
too impersonal, too obviously chemically
filled, and not with Love.
I love going into Vons from time to time.
I am very inspired here.
I wish I had time to write a shopping guide
of all the foods I see and how I see them--
How chemically laden they are, how fundementally
hurtful and produced for profit more than people's
good health.
After I left Von's, I even went into the Jewish Bakery looking
for visions of my childhood,
but nothing baked here really felt compelling,
not more compellling that the pain
I was already feeling in my gut
or the tiredness that seemed to ease
just a bit from walking around and taking a break.
I did meet a sweet lady behind the counter
of the Jewish Bakery. She said she liked
poetry, and I said I would send something.
The Donuts today--they were not too difficult to win over.
Me 1- Donuts 0.
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