The retreat teachings were incredible as they always are - if you find yourself with a genuine connection to a great spiritual master from a real lineage - don't ever look back - just make sure they are the real thing and not some cult, it does exist.  It has helped my life more than any other therapist or thing I can imagine 

So still drinking milk in the form of cup of coffee in the morning, cocoa and kefir and some hot milk and honey at night.  Have been using fantastic mushroom based herbal blends - they aren't things you feel right away I think they're more something to adopt for life for longevity - been continuing with long baths full of pine cedar and juniper branches, that I really do feel - it picks me up a lot when I'm really flat - sometimes I can really feel my pulse increase and heartbeat pumping from the pine baths - they are very invigorating and wonderful medicine.  I was very sluggish and low energy the last couple days, not so bad yesterday actually I did a lot of cleaning, moving furniture and other heavy things and was pretty active in that - all day I kept at it in between rests - today was very slow in my energy, I think I have been feeling this the last 3 or 4 days but today most strongly - my foot is very sore today and probably because of the lifting - I really shouldn't do it but there was no one here but me and I got the house the way I wanted it & got the car packed with the heavy stuff I have to bring back to town.  Someone else can lift it out on the other side - I will be resting that lifting business now and going to see my chinese doctor to get help with this horrid plantar fasciatis - boy does it suck to have injured feet for months on end - sometimes better sometimes worse - they haven't got better though 100% and I really need to go get treatment I can't go on with this eating into my wellbeing.  So that's decided, if he's not really got the solution I'll go to a specialist but I think he can fix my feet if we focus on them, usually he works on my shoulders and spine but anyway - time to focus on my feet in the session till they're better.  I did some self acupuncture for them and my tennis elbow - not sure if it helped or not hard to say but the points certainly were sore some of them to needle so that is probably a sign they needed it - doing so much lifting yesterday probably can't see the result because I aggravated my condition.  

So I didn't go bushwalking today, I did have to forage a lot for firewood which was also a bit heavy but I didn't do too much lifting there - and am now enjoying the fire - There's no wood left up here, I'm going to have to order some and fix whatevers happened to the water pressure.  There are a handful of things that need doing - part of becoming a home owner I guess - its different to renting and up to me to maintain the place.  

I spent a lot of today pretty slow and tried to have a nap but couldn't sleep - I put my feet up and that was good and just laying there renewed me.  I thought a lot about the teachings and focused deeply on letting go, resting my mind and not following my habitual thoughts and emotions.  On visualising the protective space of the refuge and resting into the embrace of that.  It doesn't just happen or come easy, you have to apply yourself then it really does benefit you.  

Listened to music, a podcast a friend sent abt alternate history - quite interesting - and just really bathed, rested, kept my fire warming the house up and decidedly not working - wrote a dear friend in the truth movement a letter - I did eat a small tin of smoked fish today because I felt so drained - I had two of these over the 11 days and a small bit of chocolate as well as my milk, mainly have just subsisted on milk, one liter of coconut water, water, tea and coffe with some sugar milk cream and honey, junket which is like a sort of jello made with milk and enzymes which is more liquid then jello - I made that twice - kefir which is cultured milk full of the good stuff, and some juices - not a lot maybe 5 juices in 11 days having one now - spinach kale green apple purple cabbage carrot cilantro and zucchini - its really nice..  took 2 panadol with it because I was kinda pretty achy starting to feel a bit better now.  

I notice my energy is picking up at night which is a sign I've got a bit of chronic fatiguey thing going on and my energy depleted - energy should be better in the day when healthy - I've learned this from Chinese Medicine over the years - I am really going to come back out here and spend a lot of time here like this by myself - I don't want to leave tho I'm happy to be going back to such awesome stuff and miss at least one or two friends - the ones in my band lol, my flatmates I could use more detox from but they're all great - I just need a break - been deep in managing sharehouses for years now and it's taken its toll living in my work and being so much older than all the kids I house and hang out with and sometimes try to help & it's great having a break from that.  Might take me longer to climb the hill back to strength this time but I can take longer it's ok - I'm going to keep fasting other than having a pho or two while in town - and some drink heaps of pickle juice - then when the festival is done I am going to come back here and keep fasting and bushwalking until I am doing more tai chi and yoga and just go back every week band practice is on and stay up here otherwise for the Christmas month of December - perfect time to nick off and not have complaints - and when everyone is used to that I'll just extend that into Jan lol.  I feel I've just scratched the surface of the rest and break I need - as if 3 months would do me good.  

When I'm in town, I've got a huge park right at the corner so I can keep my walking and tai chi going there - so my mantra accumulation and just get in the habit of waking up then doing that till lunchtime and not working or getting roped into other work or drama - rest and exercise and fasting is what I need now and spiritual practice and meditation and baths.  That's pretty much it.  I'll have to get guys to help me with the work and all the repairs at the new place - I just need to slow down and stop hurting injuries.  

I'll write again soon - it's good keeping fasting journals - I was perplexed that it seemed the last entry was 2016 as I was sure I had done some since then???  Really??  Have I been that busy?  Has it been that much of a blur for 6 years - I thought I had blogged here at least once maybe last year or so when I fasted.  

As always - good luck to all you reading and trying to take your health to a better place and be in charge of it yourself  :)  awesome work!  

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