Surrender and Trust! by lfire Blog entry

Blog: Dreaming a New Reality
by lfire

Surrender and Trust!

More post-stroke insights

Date: 9/27/2018 6:07:05 PM ( 6 y ) ... viewed 1686 times

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Collage Art Card by LFIRE(c)2018

Surrender
Surrender to the thought that maybe a different healing can take place.
What?
I am not in charge?
I need to remove all ego from the healing that I seek.
It can come about in a different way,
Surrender!
[use the misspelling to chart the course.]
A NUU DAZ. A new day.
A new purpose, or a different perspective.
How to actually see things differently when
it seems that they look the same.
The same old patterns want to keep going. NO!!
I have seen the breaking light of the new day.
Unplug the mind. Let the heart shine...
Is it too late?
Surrender. Let go.
Easy to say.
What?
Every vestige of the ropes of past thoughts stubbornly hang on.
So easy....just start anew. ha ha ha ha
How to start anew...
Not just start over, start anew.
It feels different.
Some energy is shifting.
Something is changing.

Who am I kidding? What was I thinking?
All excited for the future and crazy plans of possibilities?
Who am I kidding?
The hard cold "reality" keeps creeping in the mind.
How dare I think that any of the crazy "wishes" of
the future could actually happen?
Just look to the past...all those past hopes were
unceremoniously dumped into the trash heap.
Unfulfilled.
How dare I "follow my highest excitement" as Bashar* suggests?
Everything in my life points out the reasons why they
cannot become real.
How can I hold onto those slippery thoughts of possibility?

So now I hear the inner voice say.....EXPECTATION!
What?
Expect that the desire will happen. Stop being the traffic director.
Stop wondering...HOW!!
That just hinders the flow that could happen.
TRUST!!!
Darn! there is that word again!
I'm not very good at letting go and trusting!
I always need to know how things will happen.
I just want to KNOW!
Not only do I want to be the traffic cop...I want to tell how
the road must go!
So now what, I ask?
TRUST ....is the answer!

We have had a fiery summer.
Massive fires with hard to contain elements.... think about raging
100-106 degree temperatures as well. Terrible smoke everywhere.
Just when it seemed that the fires were dying down,
another huge fire started up a little north of the Redding fire.
These fire have taken a huge toll on resources, lives, and property.
Makes me think of the rune, Cweorth. All about fire:
It was fire in the beginning.
It will be fire in the end.
It will be fire in the beginning again.

TURNING POINT
At the time, of course, I didn't know that I was at a turning point.
I recognized that I had had a stroke, but I seemed to be in the middle of
pain, confusion and sadness. There was no room for much else.
But as time passed, the brain seemed to work a little better,
and I started to recognize that things were not the same.
I had a hard time getting my mind to express what I was trying to say.
It was nearly impossible to write anything.
I began to realize that I had hit a turning point:
Before the stroke.......after the stroke.
What I could do before the stroke.......what I can do now.
Crying for the things that I no longer can do.
Wondering if I will ever be able to do even the simple things
I used to do.
Turning point. How do I continue?
How do I live with this "reality"?

Then I remember the rune that came to me........
NUU DAZ.............New Days
...maybe there is life after stroke!

This is an exciting announcement !
I am the featured artist for my collage and assemblage art
in a show in the gallery here.
It took over a year to put together.
I was not so sure that it would happen due to the stroke,
but hard headed person that I am, I was determined to do it.
True, most of the pieces were from the past,
but there were also a few current pieces.
So glad I did it! I received a lot of great comments.

*Bashar: Bashar is a multidimensional being, a friend from the future who has spoken for the past 34 years through channel Darryl Anka. https://www.bashar.org/who-is-bashar/

ALL BLOGS FROM 2018:

Insight, Runes, and FIRE! https://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2413488

Smoke and Fire: https://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2412389

A Tale from Long Ago: https://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2411108

Seeing Beyond the 3-D https://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2410033

Questions: More art and spiritual musings since I've had my stroke https://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2408433

Time Has Slowed: https://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2406190

More from the Stroke: https://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2403735

New Year Message: https://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=2400879