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Clearing the Closet
Clearing the Closet a few weeks ago
has brought up a lot of issues
hidden in the recesses of my inner being.
I have been looking at my original pain work
of late and bearing results.
Date: 2/8/2010 4:00:36 PM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1240 times
1:59 PM
February 8, 2010
A friend asked me yesterday
why I was going there.
There: A place that brings up the need
to revisit and work through again
Oriiginal Pain.
Original Pain: is is the stuff that determines
the direction our tree grows, and often the girth
and size of our truck.
Often it is through working through our original
pain work that we are guided to our life purpose
and the projects that give our life meaning and richness.
I was just looking at myself a few hours ago
in the glass as I walked toward the door
at the PACIFIC COLLEGE OF ORIENTAL MEDICINE.
What I look like in the glass does not mirror
how I feel itself and see myself; and yet
it is often how I see myself inside that
has contributed to my gait, limp,
and the awkwardness of my stride.
It does not exactly look like poetry in motion
the way I walk, yet it is part of my signature.
Sometimes the way I move works for me.
Look at this Youtube. My movements look comical.
They are a characiture of one of my personalities.
At times, my look will cause children to wonder,
other times I am amazed how it does not stand
in my way to love little kids.
Sometimes, I wonder how others see me.
Sometimes I am taken aback by the movement
I see in the glass.
It is all part of the Wounded Healer's Tradition.
2.
i will return to this writing, hopefully.
I need to go pay some bills.
I have one other theme I want to capture
before it evaporates.
On ORIGINAL PAIN WORK
http://www.creativegrowth.com/backlash.htm
It can be helpful to remind ourselves of why we are doing this work: The purpose of identifying and establishing a relationship with one's wounded inner child, the part of each of us that suffered neglect, abuse, and/or enmeshment, is not so that we can regress and sit around, as many critics suggest, holding onto teddy bears and giving up any adult responsibilities. The purpose of doing inner child work, the purpose of bringing up old emotional pain and to allow oneself to acknowledge and feel it, is to complete the process of the development of a full and healthy ego. John Bradshaw, in responding to David Rieff's piece in Harper's, explains that recovery is a process that, in part, involves "original pain work" -- a way of finding out what happened to us as children. "This may involve anger at our parents, which must be worked through, but the ultimate goal is understanding, forgiveness, and reconciliation, and not exoneration from the consequences of our acts or the bashing of our parents." Bradshaw points out that Rieff and the media in general focus only on this phase of recovery work and this leads to the erroneous conclusion that people in recovery wish to exonerate themselves at the expense of their parents. But Bradshaw points out that original pain work is only one phase of growth: Other equally important phases involve behavior change (ie: stopping the compulsive behavior), uncovery work (embracing childhood memories, getting reconnected with the emotions and expressing them in a safe place), cognitive work (choosing values, setting boundaries, etc.), and, finally, spiritual work through meditation and service (learning to value one's own inner life and tapping into the still quiet place inside).
FROM
The Recovery Movement Comes of Age:
Dealing with the Backlash to Recovery
by Jason Saffer, M.A., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
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