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Difficult Emotional Day
blogging to save my life.
Date: 10/18/2008 5:47:13 PM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 1819 times
6:57 PM
Stopped for gas.
Got some more things printed at Staples.
Forgot to do some.
FM tomorrow. I want to be there early.
Still taking some pleasure in my desk
that is showing some Yellow Open Places.
Feel like called JLR to ask to make amends,
but already left one message today.
I missed our phone coaching last weekend
when I was in LA at Devorah's Salon.
It momentarily seeped through my pre-morning
head....how do I create a buzzer on the Iphone
for appointments? That was a very costly and
emotionally expensive act of forgeting, inspite
of Mercury Retrograde.
It would be great if I could get through a box of stuff
on the floor. At least the thought is there.
That's a step above depression.
Feel like going through old cell phone.
There are old friends whose names are left out of my data.
I need to remember I have friends right now.
October 18, 08
3:34 PM
Escaped to a service for Succot
with one of the San Diego Jewish Renewal Communities.
Work up feeling lonely.
Put my hands on my heart.
Pain lessened a bit closing my eyes in the service.
They were reminding that we have Ancestors.
I feel disconnected.
Where are my friends?
A sunny day, lovely weather.
Came home to change my clothes.
Stopped at Staples and printed a couple of things,
but one image was missing.
it is 3:40 PM now.
I have changed my clothes.
I am definitely in an excape mode.
Looking for some little thing I can print,
something to take my mind off the isolation.
I do not have what it takes to dig into bills on the bed
or some boxes, no less boxes and binders outside.
The Basement is near cleared but filled with micro buglife
and hazardous air.
The buglife are outside too.
Scott caught me in the driveway RE:
having a meeting tomorrow to get rid of stuff.
I have been escaping into the election,
but the election feels very toxic now.
Missed an important phone Coaching session last Saturday
with JLR. No contact since, other than a call the next day
message about where was I?
Not good. Feelings about that.
Hate calls are circulating.
Do I dare look at Huffington?
Why? This is not a healthy distraction.
I feel that the election could be an unfair and illegal vote count.
I missed a round of supplements at the service.
I ate potluck.
Bowel was calm this morning.....
three x since eating.
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