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Wednesday 29/10/2006
Stop the world. I want to get off.
Date: 11/29/2006 4:16:46 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2567 times Just out of curiosity, does anyone know where that quote comes from?
Anyway...
I'm sick in bed at the moment and have been for the last week or two. I'm getting better now. The thing is, I don't want to. I don't want to go back to college. I don't want to talk to people or make decisions. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to live.
When I look into the future I don't see anything changing. I see a life I've no interest in, continuing for decades.
I don't want children, or to marry, or to have a job.
I don't want to sleepwalk through my life. But I don't have a choice.
I know some people would make a passionate speach about how I have the power to change my life, to make it whatever I want, (and then probably go on about God and Faith for a while). But the truth is I can't, not like I am now. I lack the motivation, the energy and any real belief in my ability to change things.
We're all trapped in this world, trapped by laws, by fears, by other people's needs.
Now I'm thinking of another quote, out of a song my mum likes: "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." I don't know if that's true or not. I hope not. I like what Bobby Sands said: "Freedom is a state of mind." better.
Ni bhaith liom seo.
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