Prioritize Your Own Needs

As part of a couple, you may not always have time to put your needs first. This is a common problem in complex or unhealthy relationships and one you need to stop after your divorce. It is perfectly normal and healthy to take care of your own needs, and now is a great time to embrace that tradition.

To get started, assess areas in your life that you feel are not getting the attention they deserve. A few examples include rest, time to yourself or with friends, or your health. Consider how you have met these needs in the past and explore new ways of meeting them for your current life stage. After all, those needs change and grow with the rest of you.

Uncover Your Best Self

As a person, you are more than just basic needs that must be met. The months during and after a divorce is an excellent time to address personal desires and wants.  It is also a great time to uncover the best parts of you so you can move forward feeling confident and fulfilled.

For example, if you have put your health on the back burner, make an appointment to check in with your healthcare provider. Consider programs like an 8 week weight loss transformation to help you feel more confident and fit.

Develop New Hobbies

Making time for your personal interests in a strained relationship is often difficult. If you have gotten away from hobbies, you may benefit from taking a personal enrichment class. Many community colleges and enrichment centers offer free or low-cost courses that can help you learn new skills. You may even make a few new friends with similar interests.

Cultivate Social Ties

One of the greatest things you can do for yourself after a divorce is to invest in social relationships. There is evidence that strong relationships promote improved quality of life and possibly even more positive health outcomes. However, life after a divorce can be a rocky one socially. There are several reasons for this.

First, many of the couple relationships you have enjoyed will end. Those that survive are often strained or awkward, particularly if you and your ex maintain contact with the friend in question. Another thing to consider is that you are no longer the same person you were before your marriage. Friends from that period may have trouble adjusting to your new outlook.

Remember that cultivating social relationships does not necessarily equal jumping into a new romantic one. It is a good idea to take time to get settled and take care of yourself before devoting precious time and energy to a new romance.

Get Rid of Any Guilt

Finally, don't succumb to the guilt that will try to creep in as you take care of yourself. Society often expects people to put the needs of others before their own, which can create unhealthy self-care dynamics. You deserve the time to address your personal needs, discover who you are as a person, and explore new interests. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

The time around divorce can be difficult, filled with stress, pain and anxiety. However, practicing self-care is an excellent way to get through it. Prioritizing and addressing your needs, developing hobbies and interests, and cultivating social relationships are all useful tools to help.

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