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Thank goodness for this blog...
bullying is truly human nature and justified by the masses
Date: 10/20/2017 7:40:11 AM ( 7 y ) ... viewed 936 times Thank goodness for this blog. I have found myself from seven years ago preserved for my discovery in a time when I have truly lost my inspiration, way, and light. I have lost my faith, my jobs and skills that I worked so hard to achieve. This blog has provided me with a window to my past self that I cannot find or even wished to put the energy into excavating. I lost hope, faith, and my belief in myself as well as God. I lost my belief in God, in AA, in this world that I live in.
I am tired. I am unhealthy. I am spent. I have been in school for 8 years and I am without a degree, without a professional job, without light at the end of the tunnel.
In the past I would say, "I was wrong, I have to try harder. It is my character defects that sabotaged my entire existence. I need to pull up my bootstraps and cut out the nonsense. Shame on me."
Well, that's one way to look at it.
I've been diagnosed with a learning disorder 8 months ago.
I have a brain that does not produce happy chemicals, come to find out.
I've read past posts from 2010 and those were my exact words. "My brain does not produce happy chemicals." Yet, I took the stance, "Shame on me. I need to keep trying harder. I need to stop being this way."
As if I were willingly walking myself to death's door.
I took full responsibility for this as if it were a willful choice of an erring child.
Uh, no.
a**hole.
a**hole? Not me, thank you.
The entire f***ing world who kept telling me that I was not trying hard enough in the face of my Herculean effort.
The entire f***ing world who called me a manipulator who was playing each situation to "get what I wanted".
The entire f***ing world when I called for justice in the face of bullying by those with political power and clout in the work place.
That is my "f*** you" to the "a**holes" in the world.
It is a belief commonly acknowledged that a person with a deficit is always in need of a force greater than themselves to remind them of how worthless they really are.
So, that being said today I say, "f*** you."
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