Blog: Codependency: The Curable Addiction
by randigfine

When Our Heart Compels Us To Make Difficult Choices

It isn’t always easy to do something that we feel in our heart is the right thing to do. Often we find that a difficult decision we felt compelled to act upon is unpopular and met with judgment, hostility, and reprimanding by those that are not even personally affected by our actions.


Date:   2/6/2011 2:19:55 PM   ( 13 y ) ... viewed 2413 times

It isn’t always easy to do something that we feel in our heart is the right thing to do.

Often we find that a difficult decision we felt compelled to act upon is unpopular and met with judgment, hostility, and reprimanding by those that are not even personally affected by our actions. Those outsiders, who are reacting this way, fail to see the immense amount of weighing, processing, and pain we have already put ourselves through before finding the courage to make such a difficult choice.

We should never have to justify our personal decisions, but sometimes we feel unfairly pushed to the point where we feel like we have to. Then it seems that the more we squirm, desperately trying to redeem ourselves but unable to do so in our judges’ eyes, the more justified our judges feel in their accusation/judgment. That is a grossly unfair tactic.

It sometimes seems as if others think they have more insight into our issue and that they believe we have somehow made a rash, hurtful, and downright wrong decision that must be rectified. Since most people do not like to be labeled “judgmental,” they tend to thinly disguise their judgments in the form of “loving” concern and “helpful” advice, believing that we won’t see through their very transparent probing and highly condescending intrusion. The truth is that we do.

In my experience, I often find that those who judge others this way are not complete with themselves, their past, and/or their own personal choices. For whatever reason, they have never soul searched and looked their own demons in the eye, taken the needed actions to genuinely and fully heal themselves, then completely risen above their own life challenges and moved on. Judging others is a way to deflect or justify the pain that they are probably either still in denial about or too scared to face.

When our perspective on life comes from a place of faith, love, and honor we do not need to question or judge the personal decisions of others. We value and respect others for their intelligence, strength, and courage, not judge or condemn their choices.

We should never let the fear of others’ judgments keep us from making difficult but necessary choices in our life. We should never let the fear of others opinions stunt our personal growth. Each of us lives a unique reality; it does not matter what others think of us as long as we know we are living a genuine, honest, and loving life. In all our endeavors, that is what truly matters.

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