I have scanned your blog and you appear to be intelligent, and have some fair knowledge of right and wrong...  That is a start, now you need to take time to off to contemplate your life goals...  

Forget the past that is gone and there is nothing you or anyone can do about it now....   If you are confused or need some moral support email me or we can get someone who is near you to help...  You need some direction in your young life before you go off the deep end and have get a pocket full of trouble....  Believe me that is not the road you really want to go down.... 

Refer to some of my blogs  especially "Brain Boot Camp"and then look at your life in the "I can change and do much better mentality" attitude......   See ya...  K