You write so well and with such honesty. I wanted to let you know I was really touched. But I am also a recovering bulimic and I have to tell you that what you describe isn't bad nutrition - it is an eating disorder. A cleanse at this time will trigger binges, followed by guilt and feelings of failure. Which is totally unfair considering all you want to do is feel better about yourself.

I would beg you not to do the cleanse - or if you have to, consider seeing a counselor at the same time. Someone who can talk to you about why you feel the way you do.

You are 19 - you are clearly bright and must be a really honest, interesting person. Think about the real reasons you have been feeling bad. They can't be repaired with a cleanse.

I am not against doing a cleanse when you have a healthier relationship with food. A cleanse can be an amazing experience. But if you do it for the wrong reasons, you can hurt yourself (and wreck your metabolism).

I am not judging you. I am trying to prevent what happened to me from happening to you. I really screwed up my metabolism and will never get it back because I tried to 'cleanse' and fast and always justified it with 'wanting a fresh start'.

Be very careful. Good luck.
Nadia