"Now before you go and get your pantie hose all in a wad;"

First of all, I don't wear panty hose - ever. Secondly, I don't have any disagreement with the fact that Life is all about choices - once a victim has identified themselves as a victim, then it IS a choice as to whether they retain victim status or evolve into a Survivor. What concerns me is the innocents who have no choice, no rights, and no remedy: minor children. If they run out of the domestic residence, they can face being reported as a runaway and hauled right back into the violent environment, OR they can be victimized into child prostitution, become another Jane/John Doe in the morgue, etc. If they remain, they become irreversibly damaged. Yes, counseling and therapy can help HEAL the wounds, but the scars will always be there.

It would be a wonderful thing if abusers were more likely than not to heal themselves of their lust for violence and control, but it's not likely. It's more likely for a pig to fly than it is for an abuser to take responsibility for their actions, stand accountable, and do the work required to evolve.

I only speak from my own experiences as a victim, survivor, and abuse counselor. Others might offer better information and/or resources.

Best wishes!