- Who likes stories? by JeSuisButterfly
18 y
3,004 9 Messages Shown
Blog: Je Rêve de Toi
"You're CRAZY!" He yelled, slamming the door to his vehicle. "You're a f***ing lunatic."
She reeled at the response, glaring into his eyes, exuding hate, though all she really wanted to do was throw her arms around him and proclaim her love for him.
"Just f***ing go. GET OUT OF HERE. Call your mother, tell her what you're doing, bitch. Crazy whore." With that, he whipped out his cell phone and began jabbing at the keys. He trembled with a rage she had yet to experience.
Her spirits sunk, and slowly she turned and made her way for the door. She could hear his footsteps behind her's, quickening, accompanied by the distant sound of ringing... no doubt, a line to her mother's home.
"TELL HER! TELL HER!!" Angrily, he stepped back into his car and made his exit. She stood in the empty doorway, the words exhanged only moments before continuing to echo in her mind. She slid her hand into her pocket, palming the knife and testing its point with her finger.
Though, she was always so queasy with blood. She blankly traveled through the empty house, eyes wide open but seeing nothing. Her footsteps thundered in her ears - but still it failed to drown out the voices that played in her head: "YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING SLUT!"
She stormed into the bathroom and violently tossed aside the shower curtain. Determined fingers jammed into her throat and induced vomiting, over and over, thinking, "This is what I deserve. My father didn't love me. No one loves me. Why wouldn't he play with me? Talk with me? Why am I so jealous of them right now, when my childhood was in the past?"
Bitterly, she spat out the accumulating acid in her mouth and tore open the refridgerator door. Food was swallowed, unchewed, hardly tasted, with the attempt to bury all memories and reminders. Back into the restroom she went, her eyes welling with tears, and again she threw up, over and over.. She threw up the food, the emotions, and inflicted upon herself the pain 'she deserved'. Her throat burned, her intestines throbbed, her vision faltered, but her intent and self-affliction stood unmoved. She was tired of the artificial smiles, the empty talking, such hollow words. She was tired of appeasing everyone. Of course, nobody saw it, no one even expected such a thing, from a teenager...
... and slowly, she slid to the floor, folding up into herself and soothed herself with the same lullaby she's always heard..
"You're worthless, little girl..
Nobody wants you, nobody needs you.
Shameful, little girl...
Why are you always in the way?"
~Papillon
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JeSuisButterfly
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- The Girl... by #43216
18 y
1,385
The Girl is a product of The Society. She feels worthless because she allows the society to create her identity for her.
The Girl must look inward instead of outward.
The Girl must start creating herself, instead of allowing others to do it for her.
Acceptance is love, and when we accept ourselves we cease relying on others to "love us" or "accept us" FOR us, because WE'RE already doing it for ourselves! Then it doesn't matter whether anyone else accepts us or not. Then we don't have to try and impress anyone, or live up to someone else's standards, or "make" someone love us or accept us. Then not only do we become happy and content with ourselves, but it begins to overflow onto others automatically.
The Girl will one day come to know this.
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- Re: The Girl... by JeSuisButterfly
18 y
1,308
This is the story of a girl..
who cried a river and drowned the whole world..
and though she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her..
when she Smiles.
<3
I'll be sure to tell her, thanks so much, Quinthius. Oztin says hello.. he really respects you.. [as do I, of course!]
Please talk to me more. It is an absolute pleasure having you here!
XOXO, Thanks so much,
~Papillon
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JeSuisButterfly
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- With you in mind... by Lapis
18 y
1,241
- I like stories by #58095
18 y
1,205
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me
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- This is serious stuff; Dear Lady!! by kerminator
18 y
1,228
MY dear Butterfly; If this is any reflection on an existing real life situation; then we really need to talk...
Life is not any where near perfect; I never really knew My father, and later when My mother remarried it was to a domineering drunken man who would not even; leave a tip for the waitress in a restaurant; very embarrassing to say the least.... So I have some stories to tell also, even though I have made "My Unusual Road of Life" blog quite clean.... So you see there are many problems, out in this world, and we must learn to over come them and live above the trash and squaller....
So please read some of my past blogs, and any others to get a better perspective on life; my dear wonderful young Lady!! You have the rest of your life before you, so make it beautiful.... Email if you want and we can discuss more things....
May God bless and keep you... With all of my Love and Concern to you... Pray for guidance and listen to the still small voice in your life....
see Ya Kermit
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kerminator
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