- Back to the Middle of Nowhere.. by JeSuisButterfly
19 y
3,395 4 Messages Shown
Blog: Je Rêve de Toi
The last week has been thrilling, dramatic, exciting, depressing, shocking, adventuresome.. I woke up at 3:00 this morning and all of my doubts and fears came rushing to my mind ~ What if I don't sell my car? What about all my bills? Is today the 14th? Oh no.. the Collection Agency.. what now? What now? I have 4 paths I can take, but which one do I step onto? If it was my choice, I'd stay huddled right here, where I can just stare at them, make sure they don't go anywhere so that I may always have a chance with all of them - to make sure I don't mess up.. no choices are good choices, na? [Not always.. or ever?]
I've been more sick lately, I hate it. My roommate lost 6 pounds, she weighs around 93 or 94 now.. she's so tiny. She isn't trying to lose so much weight, it's just that she's always busy. She's about 5 foot 1, and seeing her get so skinny and in so much pain from lack of food really pulls at me. I work around the house for her cleaning, walking the dog, trying to cook [SAD diet stocked here]. I love this girl. She has hopes for Colorado and a boy named Ross, I desire for a stable home and radiant health.
Oh, and school. School.. books, computers, homework, assigned seating, classmates, grades, pencils, paper, notebooks, midterms [well, maybe I can pass up on that]. Just learning in general.. I need to, I desire to.
I wander around the house in circles.. upstairs, downstairs, outside, back up the stairs - it's aimless, I just feel lost.
I have this loop in my head: "If I wasn't sick, I'd ... If only I wasn't ill, then I would.. then I could.. then I'd be.." I believe that's my downfall.
All in all, I wish I was healthy and that I had a plan.. oh, and no more debts. ^-~;
~Papillon
P.S. I met this amazing guy, absolutely stunning. Beautiful, gorgeous, a perfect mentor and best friend.. he's really been helping me. Really. Words cannot describe how gracious I am ~ I am truly lucky.
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JeSuisButterfly
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- Lucky Girl by oztin
19 y
1,530
"P.S. I met this amazing guy, absolutely stunning. Beautiful, gorgeous, a perfect mentor and best friend.. he's really been helping me. Really. Words cannot describe how gracious I am ~ I am truly lucky." ~Papillon
I'm happy for you. lucky guy :-)
~Oz~
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oztin
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- "back in the middle of now"... by drofinnah
19 y
969
that is what i read on the main title of your blog... and i thought... wow...!!! here's someone who really has it together... not only are they in the "NOW"... but are so together with a concentration so keen that they can be right in the middle of "NOW"... and i must admit my dissapointment at finding it wasn't the middle of "NOW" you were mentioning... but the middle of "nowhere"... oh well... not the first time i've ever been dissapointed... and probably won't be the last... but i'll tell you something a wise man once told me...
"keep doing what you are doing...
and you will keep getting what you are getting"...
"it's a wonderful day in the neighborhood... "NOW"!!!
and thank you...
i needed that...
lol...
;-)
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drofinnah
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CureZone