9/26/2005 Well that was some positive experience!

I have a different sort of injury going on than most people do. Actually I've had 2 injuries, each one completely different. The first one was getting zapped by electricity. My optic nerve was affected, (my eyes close and blink uncontrollably). So yesterday I was on Curezone, and somehow ended up on the sungazing page. So, this morning I tried it! I got up early, went to a pretty pond nearby and caught the sun before it made it up over the horizon. I could see about half of it. 1 one thousand... 2 one thousand.... and at 10 I stopped. Wow. My eyes started blinking - short little blinks, alittle different than the blinks that i'm used to.... and i felt little SHIVERS going up and down my body, it was so happy. I stopped for a moment, closed my eyes, and got a bright green picture of the sun in retro. Then I figured OK, I looked only at a portion of the sun, so I can try again for 5 seconds. And I did, and then I closed my eyes again... this time I got a blue picture of the sun and then a burgandy-magenta colored sun. and as i started to walk, with my eyes open, i was still getting pictures of the sun in burgandy relief on the sidewalk. It was awesome.

Immediately, as I kept walking around the pond (1.6 miles around) I noticed that the colors were brighter. I was so aware of COLOR, I still am even now that I'm back home. I am an artist, I draw flowers (www.geocities.com/tgontarski) and I haven't been well enough to draw in the last 18 months. While I've been looking forward to drawing, I haven't been excited about colors lately. Today that excitement was back. I think my eyes got turned back on today... and I think my body really liked this. I have no idea what this will truly do as far as healing the thing. But... it definitely has potential. I think the electricity got the wrong message into my body - and the sun can get the right message back in. I work with a medical intuitive (ok, that's obvious from the names of my other blog entries :) and she is always talking about how the healing of my optic nerve is central to the healing of my nervous system. Well up until today, working with her was the only thing I thought would help heal this thing (supplements don't seem like they're an answer here) but today I think I found the second thing.

I know this may sound odd, and I hesitated to put it in my blog out of embarassment. But, I'll be brave and say it... As I was walking around the lake this morning, I really had the sense that I had made a new friend, the sun. I felt this very strongly. So... WOW. I am so amazed at this first experience. And it made me wonder... I wonder what staring at the moon would do?

I'm going to play this by ear, probably do 15 seconds again tomorrow, but maybe when the sun is alittle farther up over the horizon. I'm not going to increase it every day, I'll be listening to my body really, really closely to gauge if it becomes too much. I think I have more chance of burning out on this than most people do, and I truly have no interest in following this protocol to its natural conclusion - being a sun cooker and not needing to eat any food. I want to eat food every day for the rest of my life, unless I fast. But... I'm so thrilled that this seems to have potential!

10:am well its been 2 1/2 hours since i sungazed... I'm still getting little shivers of pleasure. I worked with Nancy, the energetic healer that I see, and asked her what she thought (without telling her what I did). And she said, it feels really good, whatever you did. Seems like you took a green pill or something like that. Very nourishing for your system, very stimulating. So I asked her if this went into the same parts of my nervous system that the electricity zapped (premature of me, I know) and she said yes, it lit up your brain. that channel between your optic nerve and your brain. .... sun therapy.

Day 2 - caught the sun alittle later - it had already come up over the horizon. stuck with it for 15 seconds. i think the dose was alittle bit too much, i have a headache. but... for me other helpful things have caused headaches. i am taking a homeopathic remedy for high voltage electricity and that causes a headache too. so i took time and checked in and i still feel the good effects from the sun today. my eyes didn't do their blinky thing, which surprised me, and i didn't get the same color rush that i had previously, and no shivers. which tells me that my brain stayed somewhat 'on' from the first day. i think i'll be looking at the sun before its completely above the horizon. well its 1pm and the achy head disappeared, didn't last too too long.

 Day 6 (9/30/05) Well i've been sungazing for almost a week now! i'm up to 30 seconds in the morning, and i've been doing a second stint in the evening for 10 seconds. it feels so good that i don't want to stop, but i do know that its important for me to go slowly. i feel like a vampire in a way, doing something that is so different, so out there... today i have alittle headachy feeling, i haven't had this since the second day.   each time i have to consciously drag myself to stopping, the gazing feels so good...  I waited 5 days before telling my husband what i am doing... he wasn't thrilled.   he seems to have come to terms with it alittle. 

differences i've noticed -

• my head feels turned on all the time. before it was turned off.
• my eyes feel more alert, move better. usually i have alot of bright spots that i see during the day, most often white. they're lessened.
• a feeling of weakness is lessened
• other symptoms from electricity aren't changed
• dreaming - i'm remembering dreams every evening, in detail.