Date:   8/31/2007 3:02:30 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   13,750
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=953878

"Perhaps, he forgot, or not, but to me that was a small lie."

There's no such thing as a "small lie." A lie is a lie and, once the deception begins, it will be compounded by the need to cover the lie to cover the lie to cover the lie, ad nauseum. Deception is deception, regardless of whether or not the lie is major or minor. And, you're submitting to it for one reason or another to...what? Keep him from wandering? Are you making yourself believe that a tiny deception is acceptable just in order to keep him? We cannot keep what we do not own - and, this situation screams danger to me.

From what you're describing, it sounds as if this man has no understanding of what partnership, companionship, and committment is. He's maintaining occasional contacts with former lovers "just updates on how someone is doing etc???" And, you're accepting this behavior and explanation? RED FLAG!!! WARNING!!!! DANGER!!! Any man (or, woman) who suggests that they're maintaining contact with former lovers just to keep in touch and get updates is full of baloney. It is a typical NPD tactic: "If you screw up, I have a line of women that I can have at any time" is what it translates into.


http://www.heartlessbitches.com


Regardless of the name of this site, it has valuable and powerful information for women who are in need of taking back their Selves (that Life's Spark that makes each them unique) and not let any man (OR woman) run roughshod over their lives and emotions.

Personally, if it were me, I would be taking copious notes, hiring a private detective, and consulting a divorce attorney. You didn't mention that any children are involved - so much the better. Once children are brought into a situation, the whole thing only gets uglier and harder to resolve.

Best wishes to you.
 

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