Date:   8/31/2007 2:44:56 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   1,580
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=953873

"so once i knew he said 'i love you' back to me i realized that he is atleast giving me a little understanding that im not acting myself and i get really help that im shy but still"

So, this guy returned your sentiment and you think he's "giving" you something to go on? People will say and do whatever it takes to secure someone and keep them hanging on the fishing line, so to speak. Read up on what a narcissist does to bait, lure, and snag their supply sources - it'll make your skin crawl.

Then, there's this need for closure - sometimes, there IS no closure. We want answers, we want reasons, and we want it fixed right now. Unfortunately, that's just not the way it works. Human beings have become very demanding and we have to learn how to surrender and move on. We tend to get way too wrapped up in the drama/trauma of forcing a relationship to work that was never meant to be.

Consider this: do you REALLY "love" this man or do you "love" the idea of what this man might be either in truth or fantasy? What, precisely, IS it that you love about this man? His honesty? His integrity? His open mind? His intellect? His support and encouragement? His ability to maintain your trust without having to work at it? Is this someone that you could envision yourself growing old and wrinkled with and know that you won't have to run out and submit to cosmetic surgery to keep him interested? Is this someone that you are wanting to commit to?

There is so very much more to "love" than sexual turn-ons and open-ended promises! Love that is based upon honesty, common interests, common goals, friendship, trust, respect, support, and encouragement will last beyond death. What we believe to be "love" that is based upon the immediate and the needs won't last longer than a fart in a windstorm. I've heard so many people insist that a healthy relationship is hard work and that's just pure-D Bullsh*t. A good, loving, healthy relationship flows like a river. Sometimes, there are floods and, sometimes, the river gets a little low, but it's always flowing, it's always moving, and it's always changing. A good, healthy relationship flows, evloves, changes, but is always in forward motion with two people in partnership.

Best wishes to you.
 

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