Date:   8/22/2007 12:22:00 AM ( 18 y ago)
Hits:   10,706
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=947125

no, i have no one to talk to.  you are it.  i called my mom the other day to tell her how sick i am, but she can't do much because i am here and she is busy.  when someone you look up to treats you liek a dog out back, it is hard.  like i said, i got caught up in the abuse syndrome.  i am only now starting to stop.  i stopped a while back, so it new to me and i'm trying to find something to make me feel good again.  i went through this once before.  the problem is, i went from one abuser to another.  i told the current abuser about the one prior and they couldn't believe i was treated that way...but they ended up treating me worse.  many abusers put on a charming act. 

no, loss of libido is very common with tuballigation.  i have gotten many emails and many calls from women who say the exact same thing.  it is part of PTLS.

no, i am not looking for that special someone.  i have had no interest in men for about 2 years or so.  i have no interest in one true love or any of that.

i cannot go back to oregon until i get well from dental because i am in a lot of pain and in the states, the work would be at least $30,000.

what dreams did i have, i believed the abuser, that he liked me.  i also believed i could live well financially.  he took both those away and deemed me not worthy.  but now, i only would hope to recover financially, i will have to see how that goes.  i have been being thrown an old eaten bone instead of a steak for over 3 years now.  it is like i am scared of making money. i am scared whoever i choose to work for will not pay me and will suck me back in the other direction.  i know it sounds bad, but that has been my fear for quite a while now and why i don't do anything but watch tv and write on curezone.  it has gotten that bad.  but, the only thing that has helped me a little bit to catapult, was my extreme need for dental work and the help of some of you at curezone.  otherwise, i might be heading aimlessly back to oregon searching for something that i don't even know what it is.  that may be the best thing, but i have to give this a try with my dental first.  i got a call a call from a fellow curzonian from england yesterday because they were worried about me.  pretty amazing. 

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