Date:   7/18/2007 11:14:55 PM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=921819

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the boy needs a father. he needs to act like a man and admit his wrongdoing and make ammends the best he can. this means apologizing face to face, paying the money back, and asking for forgiveness(this is a favor for his friend and is for his benefit, not your sons).

a good way to pay retribution for the act would be for him to labor and earn money and present a sum to his friend as a ransom for his friendship. that way, whether or not the friendship is repaired, the other boys loss of a friend is compensated somewhat.

none of these things amount to much, but they put the focus on the wrongdoing and the damage done by it and puts the responsibility for making it right on the boy who did the deed. it is not a measure of his character that he stole. the measure of his character is what he does afterwards.

as an aside(and not to justify anyone), i have a son who leaves money and expensive things laying around all the time, which i council him not to do. it is no more right to tempt someone to steal than it is to steal. thats what locks are for. they keep honest people honest while they decide to be that way themselves. people that are compelled to test another in word or deed are lacking something in their own character. this includes being quick to negatively judge another on circumstance.

edit - after reading the other responses you got, i have to add a couple of things.

admitting what he did face to face is very important. the other boys parents should be present as well. this is the most useful and courageous thing your son can do. it will also go a long way in righting both him and the others involved. he can write it down if he needs to, but he needs to read it to them in person. there is no other way to set himself straight. it is entirely for his benefit to do it in person.

secondly, he has no excuse and should give none. that is the problem with our society - it is full of bad behaviour fueled by endless excuses. a real man can say he was wrong and learn from it and go on. its not the end of the world, its the beginning of an honest man.

better to square this up now than to wait until he has to do it in a court of law. there, the punishment rarely fits the crime, especially if one is truthful and actually did it. to call it a corrections system is a joke. it is a scapegoat system for society to take its frustrations out on criminals. few people deserve what the criminal (in)justice system dishes out. your son is fortunate indeed.
 

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