Date:   6/15/2007 3:18:03 PM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   7,058
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=897299

You do well to follow your own course of action if you have discovered that your own behavior has contributed to the anger and resentment around you. You would also do well not to project your own personal shortcomings and successes onto another person. Just from a cursory reading of your posts, you and #80332, we can discern that you are two very different people with very different situations.

I'm not making light of what you are saying, I think it is remarkable when someone takes stock of their own actions and works hard at correcting weaknesses. But not everyone is the cause of someone else's behavor, and especially not in a gambling/addictions situation.

>>"The roots that form addictive behaviors may form very early in age, but they don't explain why we _continue_ them. <<"" The operative word here is =addictive=.
a. The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something. Regardles of what dysfunctions another human being may have, they in no way contribute to an addict's need for the object of desire. It does in childhood, but into adulthood, the only behavior from others that in any way affects the addict's behavior is the co-dependant enabler who allows them to contiue on. A healthy person does not enable another in their addictions and also knows it is impossible for anyone else to change an addict, he/she has to do that by themselves. The only healthy and wise thing that a person around the addict's sphere of influence can do is to remove themselves and any innocent young ones from the addict's path. That doessn't mean taking an inhumane approach of not being there if the person truly, truly needs support in order to change. But this case is rare, and in any case, the sane person needs to be in a place of emotional and physical safety.

The problem with the reasonable dialog that you suggest, is that once a person begins a cycle of lies, deceit, stealing, cheating, etc., etc., there is no productive conversation that can ensue. So in a way you are right, it is the stronger person who needs to make the positive change, and that means it's the healthy human being who must part in order to maintain their health and sanity.
 

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