Date:   6/5/2007 6:28:11 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   3,064
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=887756

Maintain your "nice guy" level - there's no reason to alter yourself in the pursuit of sexual gratification. Focusing ON your Self (your Life's Spark) will not only give you confidence, but it will help you to develop an understanding OF your Self - what your goals are, what you feel are attributes, developing emotional well-being, developing skills of communication, etc.

The woman that you're dating may well appreciate your speaking up about your desires. Yeah, things can get hot and heavy, but sometimes it is much more meaningful to hear someone say, "You know, I feel so close to you and I'd like to take our intimacy one step further. What about you?"

One respondant to your concerns suggested that women (in general, I assume) are attracted to guys who are demeaning, mean, and degrading. Well, given what the visual and audio medias crank out, today, young girls are TAUGHT (early on) that they are b*tches, hoe's, and objects to be used and cast aside and they play into those expectations. They are living up to the current stereotype.

And, no - I'm not a hardcore feminist to whomever felt that Curezone women are. I am a woman who married one of those "bad guys" and ended up as a shell of a person, beaten, battered, emotionally and financially bankrupt. It's us women who are older and more experienced who recognize that we do NOT need a "bad guy" to have good sex with. We've earned our stripes and we do not have to accept abusive treatment to secure a man. We understand that people can (and, DO) have sex with anyONE or anyTHING and achieving an orgasm does not, in any way shape or form, indicate intimacy.

So, go on, Jacob - maintain your gentle Self and never change for the benefit of someone else. If this gal is the one for you, then it will work itself out. If not, there is someone out there just for you in a world of billions of people!

Best wishes to you!
 

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