Date:   5/14/2007 5:26:15 PM ( 18 y ago)
Hits:   1,460
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=870762

I'm a woman and 35+, but still sometimes have these problems with my mother. She's just so completely different from me that, if she weren't my mother, I would probably never have had any kind of relationship with someone like her at all. In the past, I have found it very hard that she doesn't seem to be able to appreciate anything that I do, while she always appeared to be much friendlier and more understanding towards other people. On the other hand, she also criticised my father, who was rather similar in character to me, all of the time. But now that he has died, she seems to have fallen into a black hole. So I guess that her way of showing love and concern for someone is just to be a pain in the ass.

I have very often felt the urge to get away from her as far as I could. But then again, I believe there's no way you can ever run away from a parent, because then it will just hit you very hard in the face once they're not there anymore. But what I have changed, is that now I don't seek her approval anymore. It's not because she's my mother that she's right about everything. So if she doesn't agree with some of the things I do, then that's OK for me. It's enough that I myself stand behind my own choices. Since I deal with her like that, our relationship has gotten much better and she now actually seems able to agree with me some of the time.

Children often want their parents to be perfect, but I think you just have to accept that, eventhough most of them honestly do their very best, they also have their mistakes. You have to learn to love your parents with their good and their bad sides, just like they have to learn to love their children in that way.
 

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