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Re: why not allow gay marriage? by thomas ..... Gay/Lesbian Marriage & Adoption

Date:   5/12/2007 10:22:36 AM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=869273

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I'll do my best to answer the questions you have posed, but I can't promise anything because I am not totally sure what you are looking for especially with your second question above. But here we go.

The first point I would make is that in your comments above it seems to me that you are mixing together the issue of sexuality and gender identification (based on your usage of the words masculine and effeminate which could be interchanged with the term feminine). In a general and basic sense, sexuality deals with a person's sexual character, namely, where their attractions fall, either for an individual of the opposite sex (heterosexuality) or for someone of the same sex (homosexuality). Gender which has been traditionally separated by one's sex, male or female, comes down to one's relative masculinity and femininity. Really we are talking about relative traits used to differentiate the sexes. Things as basic as girls like pink, dresses and flowers and boys like baseballs and toy trucks. It can also be designated by behaviors such as women are polite, nice and emotional where men are tough, stoic and aggressive. Now these are all traditional notions of gender characteristics and as we all read these we know that over the last 100 years or so these so called gender differences have fallen away and now are seen almost as ridiculous notions. The truth is that we as a society clearly have had a blurring of the lines of gender. You have some women who are very masculine and some men who are very feminine and yet these women and men are heterosexual. They created the popular term of Metrosexual to categorize a new breed of heterosexual men who were taking on characterisitcs that ahve traditionally been designated as feminine. But those same gender characteristics do not dictate their sexuality. They are heterosexual men. SO in today's wolrd you run the whole gambit. There are masculine and feminine heterosexual and homosexual females and there are masculine and feminine heterosexual and homosexual men.

The problem occurs because people's notions are so often wrapped around stereotypes. We all know how stereotypes get us into trouble. The traditional stereotypes of lesbians is that they are tough, maswculine and resemble men more than they do women. Well yes there are some lesbians who take on these roles, however, there are also a large group of lesbians who are very feminine. Ther term lipstic lesbian was created once as a term for them. The same runs true for gay men. I am a gay man but I do not consider myself feminine. I think we all have some traits of each as determined by traditional notions, but for the most part I am a masculine gay man.

So while this turned out to be a lengthy explanantion the point is that when discussing this topic you have to separate out the question of sexuality from gender.

To specifically answer your questions:

1) A TRUE homosexual is someone who is attracted (in all ways attraction exists-it's not all about sex, it also has to do with intimacy, companionship, etc...) to someone of the same sex.
2) Unfortunately, I can't answer this one. I don't think it is my place to judge anyone and make the designation of whether they bring a whole group of people down into the gutter.
 

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