Date:   4/21/2007 11:32:26 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   2,320
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=852353

Dear Paulette,

You wrote...

"I know when the time comes very soon that my Daddy is no
longer here on this earth, I will be lost forever."

Lets cancel this thought...although yes, losing adored loved
ones is very difficult, as is shouldering the mantle which will
pass to you. What you can do is keep that love alive in their
stories and in sharing with your children the way of life
they lived and in keeping the family values going. Right now,
you are creating memories with them by keeping in touch. If
possible, try to involve your own children in the process of
spending time with them when possible, or reaching out through
pictures and such.

One thing my own daughter regretted when her grandmother was
passing was that she did not realize the gravity of it and so
feels she missed out on opportunities to tell her grandmother
how much she loved her and to listen to her in her final weeks.
Try not to allow your discomfort to create a gulf between you
and your loved ones or your own children's chances to be a part
of the process.

In dealing with my own health crisis and just previous to that,
caring for my mother-in-law as she was dying, I decided to
replace those feelings of helplessness and grief with ways
to make her feel better. I shared massage and reiki with her.
I did lots of small caring things for her but I also did them
for me since loving her made me feel like I was giving back
for all the countless ways she had shared herself with me over
the years. When the time came, we were all ready and grateful
since sometimes families do not have the time to say goodbye
when a tragedy strikes and a loved one is taken quickly.

I also realized that I had not really been prepared in my
life for saying goodbye and so I made the choice to learn more
about what the process is for others and so read books by
Stephen Levine and the classics by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
on the subject. It helped and also made me realize that there
is no rehearsal, the process of living and dying is one we
all go through and if we can get past that bump in the road
we see as denial, we can embrace the process and own it in
a way which was very healing. When the time came and my mother
in law was no longer eating and began to shut down physically,
it was with great love that she showed me how to die with
dignity. I felt this was such a gift and that I could hold
her and be a part of her process was a huge blessing.

I know you realize that you have such a blessing in your
relationship with your parents. I wish you all many more
blessings as you navigate the unknown emotional waters ahead.
There are plenty of good times and lots of opportunities
to make memories which will help you *live* to your own
time when you will face your own children to say goodbye.

Lost forever....never...and hopefully when you go, your
parents will be there to meet you with open arms :)

many blessings,
Zoe

-_-
 

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