Date:   4/21/2007 8:18:38 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   4,174
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=852233

Most all of the research material with regard to narcissism explains the learned behavior as a method of coping at a very early age - formative years around 3-6. At this time, the child is either living in an environment of ridicule and abuse, neglect, or with a narcissist parent. In my case, both of my sons were born into an extraordinarily abusive environment and learned by watching their father and me interact to determine what was "normal" and expected. The only way that intervention for a child can occur is for them to be utterly and completely removed from the abusive environment with no further contact with the narcissist. Once they are in a safe environment, therapy and counseling can begin. Sadly, as in my own case, realization of the abusive environment comes far too late to be of any help to the children. Unfortunately, legal protection for children just does not exist. Courts generally maintain the parents' rights to visit (or, maintain custody) with their children. Even the most seasoned counselor/therapist cannot diagnose a narcissist - by the time doors are starting to open as to the person behind the face, the NDP abruptly ends sessions and the diagnosis falls short. In a Court of Law, the NDP can literally get away with murder and cause the victim(s) of their abuse to appear to be self-absorbed, mindless, selfish, overbearing, hysterical nutbags.

With regard to counseling and therapy, thousands were spent on individual and group counseling in a vain attempt to "save and heal" my eldest son. As an adult, he opted to take the path of deceit and damage and followed his father, almost exactly to the letter. The sins that he has deliberately perpetrated against other human beings have been worse than those that were perpetrated by his father against me and our sons.

There is no cure for narcissism unless the NDP wants to be cured. Even then, it will require courage, extreme effort, and self-sacrifice in order to wring out the facts, acknowledge the damage that they've inflicted, and forgive themselves for having done it. After all of that, the desire to fall back into their self-serving behaviors will, forever, be a constant nagging in the backs of their minds. Nothing is ever "hopeless," but some things are "unlikely." We must always hold out hope for another person's healing, even if it is unlikely that they will opt for healing. I pray for my ex's healing, though I do not pity him, one iota. I pity the child(ren) that was damaged, but not the adult that makes the choices to deliberately (and, with malice aforethought) perpetrate heinous sins against other human beings for the sole purpose of their personal entertainment.

 

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