Date:   4/19/2007 11:14:24 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   4,214
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=850846

Insightful post, here! Long response and I apologize, in advance.

I haven't kept up with the Winkler case so much - I don't have cable television and I rarely listen to the news unless it's NPR in the car. However, I can clearly recall that my own suicide seemed a viable alternative to living the rest of my life with my ex - when I had gotten to THAT point, I had no friends, no family, no independent source of income, etc, and I was so physically sick that I was unable to function without running to the doctor for more drugs. Once I got away, I never needed antidepressants, again, and my physical ailments diminished to near-zero with the exception of Rheumatoid Arthritis symptoms, which I'm coping with quite well (no meds, thank you!).

Some of the most well-known public figures in history were narcissistic. The most important aspect to understanding how a narcissist works his/her prey is that their reactions to OUR emotions have been carefully practiced and studied to "reflect" appropriate responses, although they are not capable of hiding their narcissism, forever. Red flags were always popping up and, most Survivors can look back and actually trace, event-by-event, how their self esteem was systematically shot down over time.

I'm a fine and ceramic artist and one of the most interesting things about artists is that the majority of us (me, included) would have developed into NPD's, ourselves, but for working out our issues through some form of artistic expression. That does NOT mean, by any stretch of the imagination, that artists will not be NDP - Picasso was a narcissist, as was Dali and many, many others. ANYONE can develop into a narcissist. I work with artists on a daily basis. Some of them are sensitive to the plight of others, while my former instructor and mentor is a classic female NDP and has grouped her followers together in such a manner that every aspect of her personal responsibilities have been delegated to her followers, down to pulling weeds and cleaning her studio. I walked away from it, even though she is an extraordinarily knowledgeable instructor. I did not want to be a part of her Club and answer calls to take her herd of animals to the vet on an hour's notice! LOL!!!! I can't very well be practicing my craft(s) if I'm attending to someone else's responsibilities, now can I?

Most of the post is referenced to women being victims of men, but there are countless people who are abused (emotionally/physically) by their parents, siblings, "best" friends, supervisors, coworkers, etc., in classic NDP games that are more subtle and even more controlling. Narcissism is more recognized in "romantic" relationships because the trauma and drama is so overwhelming and so complete. If we're able to walk away from an NDP spouse or significant other, we do so under auxilliary power with very little left of our Selves. Walking away from an NDP parent is much, much harder and leaves us in even worse tatters than an ex-lover.

True, the sexual issues that are often the center of NDP abuse have become ridiculous - check out myspace.com and look at the 12-16 year old girls who are selling themselves with suggestive attire, provacative exhibitionism, and utterly inappropriate visual and literary imagery! An NDP will use sex as a reward and punishment until the victim gets to the point that sex only equals humiliation, and these little girls are setting themselves up for dehumanization, abuse, and worse. Red Flag #1: Whirlwind romances and intensive/instantaneous sexual interaction are both common traits of an NDP casting, luring, and reeling in his/her prey. A healthy relationship is not based upon sex, period. A good relationship will yeild "good" sex while a bad relationship can yeild "good" sex with tragic consequences.

In fact, victims of narcissistic abuse often develop into NDP, as well, if only as a method of protection. Unless they step away from the abuse and get intensive therapy/counseling, they could very well end up as abusive and narcissistic as their primary abusers, whether the NPD in their lives is a parent, coach, sibling, friend, etc.

With regard to organized religion, remember WHY religious beliefs have always been "organized:" strictly for control and definitely NOT to Save the Masses. "If you do not believe what I do, you will not earn your way into Heaven," is how most organized religions are based, NOT upon, "Do good to other human beings and it will come back to you." Organized religions employ the "withold/reward" system of dehumanization. So, I'm also very, very careful of anyone in authority, particularly policemen, state troopers, judges, etc...they believe that they hold the ULTIMATE authority over "regular pukes" and most of their ilk are the most devious and abusive NDP's out there.

It seems as if we are raising up more and more NDP's, and I believe that it's primarily due to the fact that we no longer communicate, as a Society. Everything we need is either on a television, laptop, internet, Cell Phone , or some other device that places a barrier between discussion and interaction. And, the permissive culture that kids are living in, today, says, "It's all about ME." Just my take on it.

Excellent post! Thanks for offering some fresh insights!
 

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