Date:   4/15/2007 2:41:41 PM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   1,392
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=847760

I have two conflicting things to say to you (my left brain, right brain talking).

When I have been around girlfriends that say they don't want to ever have any children, I am shocked. Or should I say I was shocked for many years until I got old enough to realize the people feel the way they feel. Period. I think there is so much pressure on having kids, and society is mystified when you decide not to breed! Like you are morally bereft, or selfish, or any of the myriad of things that people think. Well I say...screw society!

Now the boyfriend thing is very sad. If you decide never to have kids, and he wants them, then you definitely do not have a future unless you can overcome this with counseling or whatever. I've know far too many couples that break up later over that very thing. I've know couples to break up because of fertility issues, where one leaves the damaged spouse to search for a good breeder...I'm serious, I've know at least 5 couples that went this way.

You sound like you have some issues. I'm sure you are trying to work on these fears, right? If you have major fears then pregnancy and motherhood will exerbate all of them. Forget labor as it only lasts a short while. Pregnancy is riddled with all sorts of bodily changes, and the fear you have when you bring home a new infant is intense! I won't Sugar coat this, not everyone just jumps right into the perfect motherhood role. I had never been around infants so I had to learn from scratch. I was paranoid about a lot of stuff.

Now here is the other side of my brain. My husband never wanted kids. I never really thought about it one way or the other until I got pregnant by accident. We had to make a decision right then and there. We decided to go for it.

I swear, I have not regretted our decision one bit. My son is such a joy to us each and every day (he is 15). Even when he's a pain in the ass, he's our family and we love him. Nothing can prepare you for that amount of love. I had no idea and had never even fantazied or imagined what it was going to be like.

To me, it's worth giving this some thought. Having a husband who really wants children is far and few between. Most men do not want to be bothered. In the end though, to thine ownself be true!!

So, that's my 2 cents all over the place. I absolutely do not judge those that decide not to. Pretty soon (way too soon) my husband and I will be alone again. I wonder how we will fall into that after 18 years of sharing our daily lives? And I'm sure my son will go off and live his life away from us. It seemed to all happen so fast!

Molly







 

<< Return to the standard message view

fetched in 0.04 sec, referred by http://www.curezone.org/forums/fmp.asp?i=847760