Date:   1/28/2007 1:07:43 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   4,159
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=822150

i believe that i had died twice in my life..
once was when i OD on cocaine on my 20th birthday, i was going through a hard time in my life,drugs,a rough break up,a bad crowd..I remember coming off about $500 worth of coke and i was coming off real hard,tweaking and all..shaking,all cracked out. I read my birthday card,it read,we love you yadda yadda yadda..from my parents,it was a breaking point..I swore i was going to die, the room spun around and i layed flat on my bed..i felt like i was slipping in and out of conciousness, i could feel my breathing was slowing down and i felt like i was going to die.I prayed to god that if he let me live, i would never do coke ever again..i would never do drugs again, i would never do wrong again..well, i woke up and felt like shit ran over twice..but i lived.I stil dabbled in drugs,but nothing serious..not like that again. During the point of blacking out..i don't remember a thing..it must've been pretty bad,because usually people just don't black out from too much coke..they tweak for days..i must've been an exception.

Two days shy of my 22nd birthday, i was about to OD on some advil..it was another breaking point..instead, i passed out and i woke up half asleep half awake.I had a bizzare vision of my mom and my 6 year old crying over my dead body,my mom was crying over me- why , why did you do it? why? and my son was was confused..
i woke up in tears..i never took that deadly dose of advil..it was the hole bottle.

I have been shot at about half a dozen times in gun battles in my youth, been in street fights and car chases involving police and rivals..what kind of rivals could i possibly have at 16? many,if you were a knuckle head like me...
Many times,during those moments..i did think about death and dying,but i was never truly afraid.Even when i was going 160 in my little sports car, i still wasn't truly afraid..though i should've been. Not that i tempting death or anything...


 

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