Date:   1/24/2007 3:53:42 AM ( 18 y ago)
Hits:   3,312
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=818706

It is quite possible that some people around you are critical and that you don't really notice that right away in which case it has a damaging effect on your self confidence. I recommend two books by Eric Berne: "What do you say after you say hello" and "Games people play". In addition, anything you can do to get more familiar with all other subtleties of communication, especially non-verbal type, would be great.
Once you do learn to read those subtle signs of disapproval, they won't affect you any more.

One other thing: once we get used to being criticized, we tend to percieve criticism even where none exists. For example, a husband may say to his wife that food in the fridge got bad (because he wants to determine if something is wrong with the fridge), and wife gets all defensive and even angry that her husband "thinks" it's her fault that food got bad (when he never thought or implied that).

Most of the time we are our own harshest critics; it is good to stay aware of the fact that we are NOT perfect, and therefore are bound to make mistakes - which is perfectly OK. Even with those mistakes, things always work out in the end and life goes on. Someone calculated that about 95% of worrying is unnecessary (because those things we worry about turn out OK anyway)!
 

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