Date:   1/18/2007 7:50:14 AM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=814006

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I saw the posts from Killi and the additional responses. My suggestions are meant to be just that, suggestions, with no malice intended, whatsoever. And, I apologize for the length, in advance.

First, I would suggest, Killi, that you've left your personal belongings behind and, in order to take proactive steps to help yourself, you'll have to ask your mother to go through your things and send you the documentation required. Whether you trust her or not is not the issue - the issue is that you left your belongings in her care, regardless of the reason, and you now need to ask her to send those things that will help you, right now.

Next, I would kindly suggest that leaving your well-being in the hands of a roommate might not be the wisest of decisions, even if it seems to be the only choice that you have, at the moment. There are a number of agencies (public AND private) that will help you to get you started. Social Services will help you, SSCard or not, local religious organizations, charitable organizations, and others will help as well - I know this because I had to seek help from those sources, myself.

As for the issue of giving: it is rightly done so, with the best of intentions, but I would like to offer this true story, in which I was involved some 7 years ago.

I was a member of a particular online service and frequented a chat room where a number of us had actually met and there seemed to be a very strong trust and friendship amongst the "regulars." One of the regulars to this chat room was a fellow who had just been diagnosed with bone cancer and, simultaneously, had become a new father. According to the online conversations, he had run into some very serious financial straits - he was disabled (due to treatments) and his wife wasn't bringing in enough income from her employment to make ends meet. As you can imagine, we all were compelled to help! Many of us sent this fellow financial support and thought nothing more of it, except me. During one "conversation," this fellow claimed to have undergone a new, radical marrow-exchange treatment and had been released immediately after the proceedure. I questioned this, as most marrow-treatments required days (if not, weeks) of hospital time due to infection, rejection, etc. I wasn't being hateful, I was just curious as to how this was possible after all I had read about such proceedures. I was nearly ostracized by people that I had "known" for 3 years, so I kept quiet and never mentioned my misgivings, again.

A number of weeks went by without hearing from this poor guy, and we all feared the worst - that he had finally succumbed to his disease. Surely, his wife would have contacted someone on his email list, as he had spent hours and hours online in this chat room, but nobody had any news. Time went on.

One day, months after the last contact with this fellow, I received a telephone call from a Federal Agency, inquiring as to whether or not I knew of a particular member's screen name, etc. Lo, and behold! They were asking about that poor guy with the cancer and new baby! I came to learn (along with anyone else that had communicated with this person) that the member was actually a woman who had invented some dozen "Online Personnae." She had invented male and female personalities and had generated nearly 250K in traceable financial assistance. The reason that they were involved was that the woman had been found murdered in Denver, Colorado, and there were no leads. They had found "family" pictures of children (not hers), make-believe spouses/partners (one of her invented persons was gay), and thousands of email addresses and points of contact that this woman had made over the course of 18 months.

The point here is this: the desire to give is a beautiful thing and, if someone offered to send me financial assistance (regardless of my situation),I would appreciate their offer in the most enthusiastic of means possible, and politely decline, which is what I had to do when I was on welfare, food stamps, and eligible for Sec. 8 Housing. I had to learn to stand on my own feet and not rely upon someone else to provide my needs. That's precisely how I got into a very, very bad marriage - allowing myself to rely upon someone else to see to my needs. I ended up penniless, homeless, sick, hungry, but alive and on the road to emotional healing.

If anyone is offended by this post, I apologize for their discomfort, but I felt compelled to relay my personal experiences with regard to these issues. Thanks for reading and best wishes to everyone!
 

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