Date:   1/17/2007 6:51:46 PM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   2,365
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=813595

What you hope for is that he WILL get another girlfriend. Then hopefully his attention will stray off you. I remember that once my abuser had a girl on the side that was more "his type" he felt superior to me and made sure I knew how good she was in bed, how pretty she was- I felt so devastated, but today realize that it really kept his attention off me - I was now useless to him - it was a blessing in disguise.

And yes, you can survive. My recommendation is to not date awhile - do not flaunt freedom to them, lest they think you "uppity" - mine used that word to describe me whenever I would try not to grovel at his feet. "uppity". It is a good thing to take the time to heal. I grew up in abuse - my father violent with my mother - and it took me a long time to untangle my thinking as to what was appropriate and inappropriate behavior in a relationship. If you were raised in a good home and met an abuser than you will have to heal from the absolute shock of it all. That someone who proclaims great and profound love and feeling could be so cruel and sick - that is quite a puzzle. Take the time to heal and be very diligent about your survival. Take nothing for granted and never ever EVER underestimate a meth addict. They will suck you dry like a vampire, doesn't matter your financial status or your looks. They do NOT care. Are incapable of care. They are sick, and self centered and consumed and dying people. Invincible is right, water seeks its own level.

I saw a comment in the narcissist site, it said that some people are shells of a human who was born without a soul. That pretty well describes it. Do not expect him to think like you, for he cannot. Get away as quickly and easily as you can, be diligent and don't wonder why he does what he does. He just does, and knowing why will give you no special power to fix it. YOU will never fix it. LOVE will not fix it. SACRIFICING YOURSELF is not biblical nor noble, it is foolish and wasteful. THE BIBLE DOES NOT TEACH THAT LEAVING AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE IS A MORTAL SIN. TO "ADULTERATE" A MARRIAGE IS TO MAKE A MARRIAGE "DIRTY". TO COMMIT "ADULTERY" ALSO MEANS TO "CORRUPT" A MARRIAGE. ABUSE AND DRUG ADDICTION ARE AN ADULTERY OF MARRIAGE - You are free from God's wrath my dear. It is unforgivable to raise the children under the umbrella of this horrible situation - to give them the "sins of their father" - you will teach them to treat people the way your husband does - now isn't THAT the REAL sin?? The sins of the father literally means that as parents we are the primary eyes through which our children see the world as they grow. And they will mimic, or repeat, or carry the stress and burden of, whatever you and your husband show them. Do you really think that on your judgement day God will look at you and say "why did you get a divorce" or do you think he will say "why did you put your children in such danger and stunt their emotional growth by staying with that sick person" and you will say "because it says so in the bible" and God will look at you, shake his head with a sad smile and say "you know, that part got SOOOO lost in translation".

Sorry for the long post, but really, quit being so hardworking goodlooking and noble and get OUT. How much better you are than a meth whore goes without saying, so be careful - very careful - get help.

You are in my thoughts for, my dear, you are me.
Peace
 

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