Date:   1/12/2007 1:15:35 AM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=809155

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Dear #71425

So many people blame themselves instead of the abuser. The victim feels there must be a reason, so they put the blame on themself in hopes that things will get better.
Sometimes the victim feels like they must make excuses to justify the abuse.


There is never an excuse for any abuse of a spouse. Abusers are what some people refer to as control freaks.
When the victim has had all they can take, the abuser promises anything to get the victim back and things will be fine for awhile. That is until the abuser gains enough control over the person to the point they feel they can start the cycle of abuse again.

In reality, the abuser has a sickness that repeats itself over and over again.
If the abuser refuses counseling or any outside help for their illness in order to help themself become normal. The victim has done all they can do.
If a person refuses to help themself, there is nothing more you can do. You deserve better!
The cycle of abuse repeating itself over and over is a mental illness. The abuse is a weapon that you do not need to be trapped by.

Whenever a woman has been abused, she should have called the police to at least get the abuse on record, or at least have a witness that she was abused. The law and the courts will be on her side.

Please do not blame God or yourself for his free will.

You are not a weak person, so stop being hard on yourself. An abuser wants you to be and feel helpless so he can have control over you, and have power over you.

I can understand your fear with 3 children and no job and fear of more abuse or going without basic needs.

There are safehouses for abused women and children that will shelter you and the children. They provide basic needs and experienced advice.
They have numbers you can call and, they will give you all the advice you need and answer all your questions and fears. Then they let you make the decision and will advise and comfort you in whatever you decide to do.

There are numbers to call in every state, and I'm sure they must have them in Canada also.

I think Ev or somebody here can help you find the numbers to call and locations.
 

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