Date:   1/3/2007 10:28:49 PM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=803387

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#30809
Wow you are going through a lot right now. I can imagine how hard it is. I too had to deal with a stepfather. I've since wonder why mothers let these loser men come into their lives and ruin it and mess up their kids. I understand wanting companionship but ghee wiz at what cost?? Anyway...he was a 'harmless' alcoholic that just sat in the living room day and night,intoxicated, after work. It had a horrible affect on my family but my mom still doesn't see it that way. She thinks I exaggerates past events. Well hey, we all see things differenly huh. He has passed on and I now..surprisingly...I feel sad (no longer anger) about how he lived his life and how it affected us.

Why do I feel this way....well finally....finally I am able to step back and accept the choices my mom made...well I think I have. lol. I am no longer angry at least. You can't change people or force them to change or do what you think they should do. It really hurts when your family let nutballs come into the family and make life miserable. Try not to focus on them. Let them be who they want to be.

Anyway, I won't ramble on. I do think that the first thing you should do is try to find housing away from your family. Time and space can do wonders. Also you need that to heal, mentally and physically. Stress really affect the body...as you may know. Someone mentioned doing things for your mom/family. I'd put that on hold right now. Seriously. It just repeats the pattern y'all have developed. They are not in a place to accept or appreciate your help and your not in a place to give it unconditionally. Know what I mean? Sometimes people take help as rejection, i.e. why are you forcing me to be like you. Especially when it comes to eating...oh my..let me try taking an oreo cookie from a coworker and replace with an apple. I'm sure I'd be tackled against the file cabinets like a hockey player. Let your family eat and do what they want. You aren't rejecting them, you are taking a break. It's about you and your healing now.

I know it's not easy but search and brainstorm on how you can obtain safe housing. Some people here (DC/MD) have roomed with folks who needed help, i.e. older person or something. They went on line and searched craigslist and other sites. Oh also, boarding houses...a friend stayed in one when he moved here from Russia. It wasn't bad either.

Also try to find a support group (eating disorder for example) and ..you never know someone in the group may know of adequate housing. I do hope that you can find a support group or someone to help you through this processes.

I pray that get help very soon.




 

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