Date:   1/1/2007 8:40:08 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   1,494
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=801627

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Hi there,

Look I do not want to seem insensitive but I would suggest that you cut your losses while you are not too far into this mess - especially if your husband has issue with your child. He might not be able to get over that and take it out on the child even if it is not in a covert way.

If you had problems from the word "go", then those problems are there to stay. There are certain things that will not change nor should we expect them to. I believe that you can get all the counseling you want but if the shoe doesn't fit then it is a waste of time and money. And you are not dealing with someone who is mentally stable. It sounds like he has a ways to go before he could even get to the point where joint counseling may help.

If I am understanding you correctly, you would like a partner who shares your philosophy in that he agrees to be the breadwinner while you woman the ship on the homefront. There are men out there who will support you in your desire to be a homemaker - mentally stable ones who will not have issue with your son. However, you will not find him if you are stuck in a probematic relationship. Look, I am divorced and have a 4 year old boy at home. He just told me this morning that he wishes he had a daddy that lived with us. I am fortunate in that my parents have been super-supportive in my desire to parent my child and not put him in daycare while I work and I work part-time and help out with the family business which enables me to do this. All I can say is that it was never intended for us to parent children alone.

Maybe a good read for you would be "Getting The Love You Want". Sometimes we ant to map out our lives because of what we have always envisioned we wanted. You will get to a point where you realize that you have to throw that out and make new plans that line up more realistically with where you find yourself in life; a good starting point woud be understanding where YOU are going wrong with the men in your life.

I wish you clarity in your quest and hope and happiness.

If your parents are supportive of you and your child, it may be a good idea to take some time to do some re-evaluating which it sounds like you are doing.
 

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