Date:   12/9/2006 11:38:47 AM ( 18 y ago)
Hits:   2,561
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=788431

She keeps me around using money (which she has a lot of and I don't at present) - even now when I am contemplating just disappearing she is dangling the carrot over my head of paying my car payment for another 6 mo or a year. I happen to have PERFECT credit and if I turn my back on her, my credit will suffer as I dont have the money to pay all my bills without her. To be honest, I am not sure I care - I have stayed around waaay too long all because it was the "safe" thing to do. She pays my medical insurance, car, bills....but all out of FEAR that she will be old and totally alone. Believe me, its not out of LOVE. And she makes me hear about ALL SHE DOES FOR ME and EXACT AMOUNTS she pays for me every day or so. It's painful. To make matters worse, I am trying to get healthy naturally and she competes with me and wants to do everything I am doing, then falls off the plan and goes on a binge and blames me for not binging with her. I guess I cant explain everything she has ever done wrong - she is just a sick person. I think I need to take a risk and leave regardless of the money. Yes it will hurt me a bit financially and on my credit but seriously: I never care to own a house or anything like that. I HATE MONEY AND MATERIAL POSESSIONS after growing up rich and seeing what it does to people. Money makes a lot of people think they are entitled to be EVIL and because they are rich they can get away with it. GOD SEES EVERYTHING. I just hate being around her influence...here is the bottom line:

I want to forget my credit cards, car, etc and take the rest of the cash I have and go to Asia (I love Asia) and get in touch with God and my spirituality and make myself a strong enough person that I can handle people like her, and life and how sick and evil it has gotten and instead of wanting to hide, being strong enough to help others.... is this crazy?

Red
 

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