Re: The Bottom Line- Not for the cowardly! by #42781 ..... Relationship Support Forum
Date: 11/1/2006 5:25:44 AM ( 15 years ago ago)
This is a perfect text for someone not anywhere near getting to know themselves, which can be said of majority of people.
However, having been divorced and then married again, and having gone through a great therapy for a few years, I can say that following things ARE possible:
- Yes, you may do everything right and still be in a relationship with a "wrong" person. Example would be having sexual problems with one partner after never having those problems before. The "one partner" just cannot relax and enjoy anything, including sex, but is a great actor - hence very hard to notice that early on.
- If a person who is getting to know him/herself meets a person who doesn't care to know anyone, but acts as if s/he does, then the fist person will suffer.
- Usually dissatisfaction with partner is a projection of our own problems. However, in many instances the only problem is a learned pattern of being attracted to abusive people (and there are limitless way to abuse someone - through emotions, communication and so on, not just physically). In that case, the best thing is to leave, but see that unnecessary attraction to abusive relationships and learn to appreciate oneself!
Some advice is spot-on for some people, while completely wrong for others. Just like I wouldn't expect an abused child to follow the commandment "though shall love your parents"...
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