Date:   6/13/2005 5:02:18 PM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   3,051
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=724655

Man, I was in a ranting mood and was shocked to see all the responses. I appreciate everyones input on this matter.

To answer a few questions and fill in some blanks........

Someone wanted to know what happened in my life to make me this way (or something to that affect). I was underweight from birth until I was 6. I remember being forced to sit at the dinner table and eat. When I was 6 I had to have my tonsills taken out. After they were removed, I kept gaining and gaining weight. I have been this way ever since. (I have run into a number of people with the same story....they were underweight until they had their tonsills taken out and they gained weight like me) I have often wondered if there might be a link?

Also, I know that another contributing factor is I was molested by 2 family members from the age of 8 until I was 16 years old. My brother and a cousin thought nothing of repeatedly raping me. Of course, I was too scared to tell my parents. I never told anyone until I was well into my 20s. I also have had no therapy. Again money issues. (To this day, my mother knows but I will never let my father know...ever). I am sure that screwed me up a lot too.

My physical work? Industrial cleaning is not housekeeping. I lift sometimes up to 100 pounds of garbage and boxes a day. Yes, I lift it myself. (I have incredible muscle tone in my arms! In fact, someone once told me that my arms and my legs don't fit the classic "fat person's" features because they are so toned.) The walking involved in my job is up to 25 miles a day. So, I have lived my life moving this incredible amount of weight. (I was 328 in high school and played tennis moderately well)

The reason I don't walk outside is I am tired. Not physically tired, but, tired of the remarks. Tired of cars going past and people yelling things at me. Tired of people making fun of me. I hate it. There is only so much I can take and I cannot take that abuse any more.

And, someone made a remark about the foods I eat. I am a fruit and vegetable person. I eat more fruit and vegetable than my skinny husband does. I do not eat a lot of meat either. And, I do resent some people assuming that because I (and not just me but others) am fat I must eat a truckload of food and all of it bad!! Not true!! I don't eat large quantities of food. However, calories could be cut lower than what they are. I know that. And, I am working on that.

Money, is an issue. We are not rich people and I have to count every nickel. Also, I do not want to have the surgery, but, was using it as an example. (I agree the surgery is way too risky AND it has a diet to be followed also. My thinking is, if I cannot follow a simple diet now and stick with it, what makes me think I can after having that surgery?) I have had a couple of people in my life that have had the surgery and gained the weight back after, also.

Yes, I can see a lot of my problems. Hopefully, with good people like you all, I can find some help that I have not seen before.

Thank you all! And keep commenting!

 

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