Date:   4/26/2005 1:30:33 PM ( 20 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=724520

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Norris6- Thanks for sharing that story. It is a perfect example of the point I was trying to make in the very beginning with my quote, "No man is an island unto himself".

I find it very interesting that while most of us began by responding specifically to Dawnalynne's questions, this dialogue has really broadened itself into a question of support. As such, I decided to begin by defining support and then share some of my thoughts. I checked an online dictionary and found that this was the most applicable definition, “the activity of providing for or maintaining by supplying with money or necessities”. Now as it applies to this subject and I believe Curezone in a general nature, we can view the necessities part of this definition as being emotional support, understanding, sympathy, empathy, love, compassion, and many other terms that any one of us could include.

It seems to me from my own experiences and in dealings with others, that many of us go through our lives believing that we are truly alone and on our own. We live under the false notions that we are the only one who thinks, feels and lives the way we do. We spend so much of our lives seeing ourselves as separated from one another. We believe that it is much easier to keep our distance from everyone and everything out of some distorted sense of protection. Protection from either a perceived physical or emotional threat. However, we must all look fundamentally at this way of living life and ask the question, what has been lost or what have we missed out on.

In my opinion the answer to this question is twofold. You must look at it from the perspective of the person giving and the person receiving the support. For the person receiving the support, they must be able to open their heart and their world to someone else. They must have an inner strength to be able to share their story and allow someone to look at them emotionally and spiritually "naked". This process alone is amazingly cathartic and empowering. Once we have done this, we must admit that we cannot go it alone. This is yet another hurdle that must be overcome. How many of us can freely admit that we cannot do something or we cannot handle some situation. The power of our egos alone fight tooth and nail against this revelation. Especially in America, we live within a culture that was premised on rugged individualism. We tend to see weakness and need as some of the worst human flaws. I disagree. I believe that through our weaknesses and needs we can truly see the essence and beauty of our humanity.

Once we acknowledge that we cannot go it alone, we must then be willing to accept the support that is presented to us. You have to look at it as if you have received a gift. Think to yourselves how much joy is brought to a child when they receive a gift at Christmas or during Hanukkah. There is an inner joy and an amazing gratitude for having received that gift. Once the child has opened the gift, it usually is something that can bring them even more joy and happiness. These are the life lessons and the experiences that can be gained through allowing yourself to be the one who looks for support.

On the flip side, there is also a tremendous amount to be gained by the person giving support. As the giver of that support, you must have confidence and faith that through your own life experiences you can connect with another and use that connection and those experiences to give the gift of support. It is a similar experience in the sense that you must open yourself up to share a piece of yourself and come to the realization that you have something to give. Once you have developed that confidence and shared that part of yourself, you have given away a gift. Now think to yourself the joy of giving a gift to a loved one or a friend. That sort of giddy feeling that you get inside hoping that this gift will bring a smile to their faces and joy to their lives. And then when it is opened, the outpouring of love and gratitude that you receive.

As you can see through my persepctive, I see support as being one of the highest forms of love, as long as it is done with the best of intentions. It allows for a positive flow of energy to both the giver and the receiver. It is a fundamental human experience that too many people shy away from. By going it alone, we miss out on this wonderful experience. None of us should see the need for support as the quality of a failing person, instead, we should view it as the quality of a loving and open person who has the desire to bring to their life that which was not there before.

When you receive support you have in essence received love. Once you accept that love, it is yours to give away. It creates an endless circle of positive and loving energy that all of us can share and experience.

Whether you agree or not, that's my two cents. :)

 

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