Date:   12/7/2004 9:28:04 PM ( 20 y ago)
Hits:   7,455
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=721708

Many women experience anger after having an abortion. The anger can manifest in several different ways the two most common are "lashing out" and "lashing in". Lashing out, is when you are feeling particularily irritated and angry and lash out at anyone close to you for minimal reason. "Lashing in" is keeping your anger inside, and feeling like it is eating away at your soul - mainly because you are angry at yourself. "Lashing in" is a little more dangerous because you aren't actually expressing your feelings of anger, you are just keeping them to yourself.

You may feel dumb and be angry that you let yourself get pregnant, or be used, or harmed in that way. Because no matter what the circumstances were surrounding the abortion, you will likely blame yourself directly or in-directly and be angry about it. Or, you may be angry at someone who counselled you to have an abortion, you may be angry at the partner you conceived with, the doctor, nurse etc.

Anger is a normal feeling for a post abortive woman.

Some women have been taught that anger is un-acceptable for various reasons. And feel that they have to go around with a "plastic smile" and pretend that everything is alright. Well lets disspell that myth right now. It is perfectly normal and alright to feel angry. Many things happen in our lives that can cause anger to rise up in our emotions. Let it happen, but learn to control it in a healthy manner. This is very difficult, and I can say this from experience. Obviously we can't stomp around all day or snap at everyone we see. But we can sure talk about our anger and explain to loved ones why we may be feeling the way we do. You don't even have to always refer to your past in your explanation, you can simply say "I'm dealing with some things right now, and I feel hurt and angry". Just open up those communication lines (I know it's easier said than done but practice does make it easier)

I also suggest, that if you don't feel like talking try keeping a journal. Anytime you feel angry, sad, guilty etc. Write it down, and write down why you feel that way and what happened during the day to bring these emotions to surface. Quite often there will be a pattern of daily events to make post abortion emotions re-surface. It's very important and interesting to find this out. But I'll talk about this more in a future post. Often, writing your emotions out in a journal is a great way to vent - it might be silently but it is still venting and releasing that emotional energy.

Just simply understanding why you are angry and giving yourself permission to feel anger is an important step to recovery. After that, comes forgiveness. Forgiveness can melt anger - it hardly ever happens instantly but is usually a progress. I will dedicate an entire post to forgiveness in the near future.

Warm Regards,
Ev



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Many women experience anger after having an abortion. The anger can manifest in several different ways the two most common are "lashing out" and "lashing in". Lashing out, is when you are feeling particularily irritated and angry and lash out at anyone close to you for minimal reason. "Lashing in" is keeping your anger inside, and feeling like it is eating away at your soul - mainly because you are angry at yourself. "Lashing in" is a little more dangerous because you aren't actually expressing your feelings of anger, you are just keeping them to yourself.

You may feel dumb and be angry that you let yourself get pregnant, or be used, or harmed in that way. Because no matter what the circumstances were surrounding the abortion, you will likely blame yourself directly or in-directly and be angry about it. Or, you may be angry at someone who counselled you to have an abortion, you may be angry at the partner you conceived with, the doctor, nurse etc.

Angre is a normal feeling for a post abortive woman.

Some women have been taught that anger is un-acceptable for various reasons. And feel that they have to go around with a "plastic smile" and pretend that everything is alright. Well lets disspell that myth right now. It is perfectly normal and alright to feel angry. Many things happen in our lives that can cause anger to rise up in our emotions. Let it happen, but learn to control it in a healthy manner. This is very difficult, and I can say this from experience. Obviously we can't stomp around all day or snap at everyone we see. But we can sure talk about our anger and explain to loved ones why we may be feeling the way we do. You don't even have to always refer to your past in your explanation, you can simply say "I'm dealing with some things right now, and I feel hurt and angry". Just open up those communication lines (I know it's easier said than done but practice does make it easier)

I also suggest, that if you don't feel like talking try keeping a journal. Anytime you feel angry, sad, guilty etc. Write it down, and write down why you feel that way and what happened during the day to bring these emotions to surface. Quite often there will be a pattern of daily events to make post abortion emotions re-surface. It's very important and interesting to find this out. But I'll talk about this more in a future post. Often, writing your emotions out in a journal is a great way to vent - it might be silently but it is still venting and releasing that emotional energy.

Just simply understanding why you are angry and giving yourself permission to feel anger is an important step to recovery. After that, comes forgiveness. Forgiveness can melt anger - it hardly ever happens instantly but is usually a progress. I will dedicate an entire post to forgiveness in the near future.

Warm Regards,
Ev


 

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