Date:   11/30/2004 8:51:00 AM ( 20 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=721660

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I want to start by saying thank you Mai Li for sharing your story. About 10 years ago I became pregnant with my 4th child. My youngest was only 4 months old, the others were 8 and 6. I had just gotten out of a battered womens shelter due to the physical abuse I had suffered throughout my last pregnancy. My first 2 children were from my first abusive marraige. While I was in the shelter my husband was shot but not seriously injured. I decided to leave the shelter after 2 months and reunite with him and make a new start. I became pregnant again right away. We had no money, no permanant place to live, We were in a really bad situation. I felt at the time I had no other choice. This is a decision I have regretted and grieved over since that very day. There is not a day that goes by I do not think about the child that should be in my arms today. As time has gone by I have had been put on several antidepressants, nerve medications, have been hospitilized 3 times for severe depression and panic and anxiety attacks. I will never, ever be the same. I will be in therapy for the rest of my life. This also happened just days before Christmas, now the Holidays are torture for me. I wish I could just turn back the hands of time, which is impossible. It is also hard to look at babies now, it hurts me so deep down inside. I did this to myself.
I admit it. I did have a tubaligation and plan on having a hysterectomy, because a friend of mine just learned she is pregnant and also had a tubal. My baby could never be replaced and that is the reason I want to make sure I will never become pregnant again, I used to be pro-choice, but after what I've gone through in my experience, for myself I am pro-life. I do respect the choices of others, it's the "post-abortion" emotions that are the most painful in all the cases I have counciled on, not the actual pain of the abortion. I hope this will help someone.
 

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