Date:   11/30/2004 7:07:58 AM ( 20 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=721659

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<< dont have any feeling of guilt, in my mind I set out to remove a clump of cells, not to destroy a fully formed child, so there isn't anything for me to be guilty about.>>

Maybe I am wrong but somehow I have a gut feeling that is not the case that deep in your heart you don't have ANY feeling of guilt.
You know that was not just a clump of cells. Self denial is not the way to go- you can hide it under thousand intelectual reasonings, but it still will be there. You admit or not, it is still there. And the fact is looking at your conscience. It always will.
The only way to go straight in your life- admit the fact, admit that it was wrong and seek reconciliation through God and through talk with women who went through the same and think otherwise. Until you are sane, it will be impossible to erase guilt. You can hide but you can can't erase.

If it sound like a sermon- it is. To wake you up. Not for me, but for you.

I posted in another forum, but will remind here. When my mother was pregnant with me, her last and fourth child, many relatives suggested her to "take care of me". She chose otherwise. And now, not only I am happy, active, but also my older brothers turning to me for a health advise. Hey, I wonder what all those relatives think now?

My point? I believe you are lying to yourself that this was right thing to do. You know it wasn't. Real support will come when you admit for God and for yourself.

There is superb book "Lime5" that you owe to read if you think everything is fine. Before reading that book I thought I knew a lot about all those things. I was dead wrong. This book is especially good for a critical mind for there are sources you can check for yourself. 5.5 years later after reading this book, I am still in shock, so you will be too. lifedynamics and priestsforlife are good resources among many.

Please, find a woman that went through the same as you did, share your story. Begin healing.
For yourself. And for MANY others. You won't bring back you girl, but you can influence decisions so other women choose life. You could make a difference in a life of at least one baby. Yes, you can make a difference.

Out of love, Cyrulis

 

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