Hi mystisangel, I'm sorry I never got a change to answer your message and I'm finally getting around to it now. Thank you so much for your very wise, helpful words. The thing of it is I accepted my boyfriend as he was and loved him enough to make certain sacrifises. I knew he wasn't allot of fun and knew he didn't like spending money. However I figured I could be creative and we could still have allot of free fun and also very inexpensive fun together. Even after yelling at him that night, my neighbor accidently told me a tall tale that she thought she saw him on the bus talking to another girl. And so I was going to stay away but knew I had to go talk with him and give it one last shot. And the week before and on Valentine's day I thought I had him almost won back. He was starting to warm up to me and he was even accepting my affectionate embraces and holding me back at least in the break room. And on Valentine's day he said he's be my Valentine and I mistakenly thought he meant he's be my boyfriend again. And thursday after that I went to his room to remind him of an important appt and he'd gotten upset and cancelled it that morning (it was for a work permit so he could work in the US). While in his room he was sitting on his bed and I attempted to come over and hold him but he backed off from me and again rejected my attempts at affection. And it made me depressed, unhappy and I started crying. Guess I kind of scared him away. I'd caught a very bad cold and he at least gave me some a box of cold medicine and I left. The next time I talked to him was on the phone earlier this week and we talked for quite a long time. I offered to bring him a nice supper friday night to the break room in the bldg where the lab is he goes to. That's where here the past couple weeks he at least would go sit and talk with me at. And I said I would bring my small dvd player and play music and asked him if we could slow dance. And he said "no" it wouldn't be a good idea. And my birthday was coming up and I asked if we could have the special supper and do the dancing in that same break room on my birthday instead (Feb 27th) and he didn't like the notion of the dancing but then he agreed I could bring him the food. I realized after talking to him on the phone I just needed to give it up and not go see him again. He seemed not to care if he ever even saw me again. On the phone he brought up an African friend who borrowed money from him every month ($20) up until last Dec and he said he hadn't seen that friend anymore since that friend no longer needed to borrow any money. He said he seen him passing by but just to say "hi" and that's about it. And I realized he seemed a whole lot more concerned about seeing this so-called fake (artificial) friend who never did much of anything for me besides talking & moral support then he did about ever seeing me again - when considering that I helped him in just about every area of his life. A 2nd main reason for our break-up I found out on the phone earlier this week - was that I didn't help him enough. Here I pushed my entire life aside and spent like 60% or more of my total time with him for 9 1/2 months (we were inseparable) and I sat with him while he worked on his dissertation (later months even helping him learn to write it) and I helped him with job search not to mention giving him all my love and other acts of kindness etc... and he claims I didn't help him enough. So I didn't help him enough. Yes, he's crazy alright and he's very illogical for all I ever did was help him. He seems to think we had allot of fun. Well, I do admit we had quite a bit of fun (in bed) but as far as fun dates - they were very few and far between. In Dec we seemed to have more fun together and some of that was free fun like a Christmas party, a church dinner, Christmas with my family, Christmas parade and afterwards got to go out to Denny's with my friends (and my bf didn't even have to pay for me and him!). I think he got upset about Dec because for once we did actually have allot of fun between the Thanksgiving holiday and Christmas and even we had a nice little intimate celebration for the new year (wish we could have gone out but we didn't). But we did work on his dissertation together a few days before Christmas and bet Christmas & New years. But he got himself all upset right after our romantic Christmas with my family where it seemed all was well and we both seemed so in love and everything seemed so wonderful when guess it really wasn't - that things bet unravelled quickly right after the new year. I really wanted to win him back but he's to stubborn. He won't budge - he made his mind up. He said something over the phone like maybe in 2 years (like we'd get back together in 2 years - some kind of nonesense). But if he doesn't want me now (not that I said this to him) why would he want me in 2 years? So tonight or actually this Sat morning, Feb 25 I still feel so sad and still miss him. I still feel the love but it's really over and I know I can't ever go back and see him again. I told him I'd come see him one more time in his lab in several weeks after I'd lost even more weight and got in even better shape - that I was going to get all dressed up in a sexy red dress and come visit him one more time in his lab but I told him I knew it wouldn't make any difference to him anyways. So I don't know if I will actually get up the nerve to do that. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just so depressed. I loved him with all my heart. I still feel the love. It hurts. I feel so lonely. I feel like there's just nothing to look forward to. And I miss the friendship we had together to and all our talks and what I don't get is why he doesn't even miss our friendship. Any helpful advice? thanks.
Hi mystisangel, I'm sorry I never got a change to answer your message and I'm finally getting around to it now. Thank you so much for your very wise, helpful words. The thing of it is I accepted my boyfriend as he was and loved him enough to make certain sacrifises. I knew he wasn't allot of fun and knew he didn't like spending money. However I figured I could be creative and we could still have allot of free fun and also very inexpensive fun together. Even after yelling at him that night, my neighbor accidently told me a tall tale that she thought she saw him on the bus talking to another girl. And so I was going to stay away but knew I had to go talk with him and give it one last shot. And the week before and on Valentine's day I thought I had him almost won back. He was starting to warm up to me and he was even accepting my affectionate embraces and holding me back at least in the break room. And on Valentine's day he said he's be my Valentine and I mistakenly thought he meant he's be my boyfriend again. And thursday after that I went to his room to remind him of an important appt and he'd gotten upset and cancelled it that morning (it was for a work permit so he could work in the US). While in his room he was sitting on his bed and I attempted to come over and hold him but he backed off from me and again rejected my attempts at affection. And it made me depressed, unhappy and I started crying. Guess I kind of scared him away. I'd caught a very bad cold and he at least gave me some a box of cold medicine and I left. The next time I talked to him was on the phone earlier this week and we talked for quite a long time. I offered to bring him a nice supper friday night to the break room in the bldg where the lab is he goes to. That's where here the past couple weeks he at least would go sit and talk with me at. And I said I would bring my small dvd player and play music and asked him if we could slow dance. And he said "no" it wouldn't be a good idea. And my birthday was coming up and I asked if we could have the special supper and do the dancing in that same break room on my birthday instead (Feb 27th) and he didn't like the notion of the dancing but then he agreed I could bring him the food. I realized after talking to him on the phone I just needed to give it up and not go see him again. He seemed not to care if he ever even saw me again. On the phone he brought up an African friend who borrowed money from him every month ($20) up until last Dec and he said he hadn't seen that friend anymore since that friend no longer needed to borrow any money. He said he seen him passing by but just to say "hi" and that's about it. And I realized he seemed a whole lot more concerned about seeing this so-called fake (artificial) friend who never did much of anything for me besides talking & moral support then he did about ever seeing me again - when considering that I helped him in just about every area of his life. A 2nd main reason for our break-up I found out on the phone earlier this week - was that I didn't help him enough. Here I pushed my entire life aside and spent like 60% or more of my total time with him for 9 1/2 months (we were inseparable) and I sat with him while he worked on his dissertation (later months even helping him learn to write it) and I helped him with job search not to mention giving him all my love and other acts of kindness etc... and he claims I didn't help him enough. So I didn't help him enough. Yes, he's crazy alright and he's very illogical for all I ever did was help him. He seems to think we had allot of fun. Well, I do admit we had quite a bit of fun (in bed) but as far as fun dates - they were very few and far between. In Dec we seemed to have more fun together and some of that was free fun like a Christmas party, a church dinner, Christmas with my family, Christmas parade and afterwards got to go out to Denny's with my friends (and my bf didn't even have to pay for me and him!). I think he got upset about Dec because for once we did actually have allot of fun between the Thanksgiving holiday and Christmas and even we had a nice little intimate celebration for the new year (wish we could have gone out but we didn't). But we did work on his dissertation together a few days before Christmas and bet Christmas & New years. But he got himself all upset right after our romantic Christmas with my family where it seemed all was well and we both seemed so in love and everything seemed so wonderful when guess it really wasn't - that things bet unravelled quickly right after the new year. I really wanted to win him back but he's to stubborn. He won't budge - he made his mind up. He said something over the phone like maybe in 2 years (like we'd get back together in 2 years - some kind of nonesense). But if he doesn't want me now (not that I said this to him) why would he want me in 2 years? So tonight or actually this Sat morning, Feb 25 I still feel so sad and still miss him. I still feel the love but it's really over and I know I can't ever go back and see him again. I told him I'd come see him one more time in his lab in several weeks after I'd lost even more weight and got in even better shape - that I was going to get all dressed up in a sexy red dress and come visit him one more time in his lab but I told him I knew it wouldn't make any difference to him anyways. So I don't know if I will actually get up the nerve to do that. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just so depressed. I loved him with all my heart. I still feel the love. It hurts. I feel so lonely. I feel like there's just nothing to look forward to. And I miss the friendship we had together to and all our talks and what I don't get is why he doesn't even miss our friendship. Any helpful advice? thanks.