Date:   2/1/2006 9:14:33 AM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   2,041
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=669919

I'm with babycakes....

but you need to ask yourself:

Why would I set myself up for heartache, to ask him to spend Valentines Day with me.
And I'm going to go clip a question and a quote from the "ask andreas" forum and post it here. It applies, I think. BRB
Here's the question and answer from Ask Andreas Forum :(the question was from a woman who has been married years and year I would guess, and so you might need to substitute boyfriend for husband, or even picture yourself years down the line, or you might just deal with YOUR OWN money issues. My intent is only to help, not to hurt, but recognize that the truth can cut deeply. best wishes. read on....

Dear Anreas,
About $.
Three areas that are a struggle in marriage (at least mine) are communication, sex, and money.

I've seen your advice on the first two. Why is money such a volitile issue? Why do we (I) let it impact me so much? What's the easiest way to have a more healthy attitude towards it? Don't know if you have touched this topic before, but you seem to have a pretty good handle of most everything, so I thought perhaps you would have some suggestions for those of us who struggle with issues in this area. I know this is a health forum, but so much stress and worry seems to originate here; some of us 'make ourselves sick worrying' and others feel 'money is the obstable that stands in the way of their health/happiness. This can't be right. It is such a touchy issue: why do some of us struggle so much in this area? Is there an attitude we could change that would make a difference?

and, here's the kicker. even if I work and change my attitude about money, which would help my stress levels, and my health, what if my spouse doesn't change his negative attitudes about money ("oh, we'll never have enough for xxxxx")

ps I've 'heard' money issues affect the lower back. If so, may all our lower back issues melt away as we learn wisdom.

thank you.

HERE'S HIS RESPONSE (I hope it helps you)

Actually, I dedicated an entire chapter to this topic in my book Lifting the Veil of Duality - Your Guide to Living Without Judgment, http://www.ener-chi.com. Money was an important topic for me at a time when I also needed to make money to live, make ends meet, and survive. Today it is a non-issue as I am not emotionally bound by it anymore. Most people associate money with survival, and that's why it is such a serious issue for them - a matter of life and death. Money has become the goal most people live for. They associate having money with happiness. If they have money, they will be happy. But in truth, it is reversed. If you are happy you will also have abundance in life. Seeing money as your savior will make you its slave. The more anxious you get about making money, the more fleeting, unrewarding or non-existent it will become. Money is made inside of us, not outside. Money is an extension of ourselves. Fear, anger, greed, etc. are ways of separating us from the benefits of money, and the world. Money does not come easily to those who are afraid of not having enough of it. They liver in poverty consciousness, and like attracts like. Lack attracts more lack. Doing things out of joy, from a sense of inner passion, and the pleasure of sharing your creations with others reconnects you with the outer world. When this occurs, the outer world will rewards you with abundance. Find something that enriches the lives of others, and you will be enriched manyfold this way. When one complains about not having enough, the universe whill receive the message and fulfil it. You are what you think. You think poverty, poverty will be your reality. You think about what else you could do for others, others will think of you what they can do for you. The more you give the more you get. Counting the pennies and thinking that it will always be that way, and nothing works for me, will become that self-fulfilling prophecy you try to avoid. Fighting something is a waste of time and energy. Focusing on your husband's negative outlook only makes your's negative too. He is playing the victim, as if someone else was responsible for keeping him from being successful. He is closing his door to the abundance waiting at his doorstep, because he basically shout out with dispair that he doesn't deserve to be wealthy. His low self worth speaks these words "We'll never make it", which is nothing but "We don't deserve to make it". You don't need to folow his footsteps. Forget about what he thinks and believes in this respect. You can make a difference for your family, despite of him.

Andreas


I hope it is "okay" to cut and paste from other forums; more importantly, Hope that gives you some insights. It did me.

 

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