Date:   12/28/2005 3:02:09 PM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   2,156
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=669727

miss,
you may not agree with what i am about say,but you asked.as always i will be firm,fair,honest,and sincere.just as i always try to be when dealing with other people,whom i really don't know,and am getting only one side of the story.
in your post you say that your current boyfriend, was dating your best girlfriend for 2 years.when he asked her to marry him she went balistic.
1. this is not a good sign.if there was true love there,she would have been delited, even if she wasn't ready to marry him.she may have even wanted to futher her education,or just felt that right then was not a good time, for many valid reasons.
but for her to unceremoniously dump him was a heartless act and not an true act of love,no matter how you look at it.
several weeks later he shows up at your doorstep wondering who he is.a classic sign of doubt about his self worth.this also shows confusion,and justifyably so.boys and men tend to think that we are invicable.then along comes a girl/lady that says she loves us and breaks our heart.this can be a tramatic experiebce in any persons life.by that i mean both boys/men and girls/women.no human is exempt.
you were right to consol your friend in his time of need.you mentioned that he considered suicide.i dont know your age or his,but when a person begans to talk of suicide,i believe that is the time to notify someone that is mature and/or in authority.to handle the situation.should something happen even against your advece ,you would fell guilty for the rest of yourt life.as a young christian girl i can assure you that you do need that kind of stress in your life.
2. the friend that he dated now hates you.you cannot control the thoughts or actions of others.now,you must still put out your hand of friendship to the girl that hurt you.she may now realize the error of her ways.as long as you did what is right in the eyes of god, then you have nothing to worry about.but keep the door open to your friend and do not dwell on what she says or does.as a christion you must always take the high road.jusy remember that time heals all wounds/wrongs,on this i am speaking from experience.
3. how she is conducting her life now is no concern of yours,except to pray for her.
the anger that you have must be controled anger and not hatred.you see, something is amiss in her life, for her to do the things that you say she is doing.it would be an act of kindness if you could get some help for her rather than watch her self destruct.isn't that what a christian should do even knowing how she feel about you.
4. you may be over eager to please this young man.it is obvious you have a desire to please him,and i suspect you are a little overzellous.if this young man still wants to be with his old girl friend,then he can't be in love with you.love is not something you fall into.true love is something that you climb up to and share completely with your mate.let me reasure you that it is not a 50/50 situtation.ask anyone that you trust,autumn for instence,and i feel confident she will tell you and all the world that love requires 100/100% from both boy/girl or man/woman.
your young man appears to be salving a brused ego.
5.you say that he loves you very much,you and he must realize that there is a difference between love and infatuation, let time elasp so he can get over wanting to be with his former girl friend.until he reaches the point where you are the only thing that is on his mind and he can't function without you,then and only until then,should you consider a more serious relationship.
6.headaches,most likely caused by the stress.consult the wonderful people here on the curezone and let me help you,you have not met a better group of people than those that serve here, trying to help people less fortunate than themselves.you would really make thier day,by calling on them to help your boy friend.
finally miss, i hope and pray that you can gleen something from what i have said.as i stated from the outset i wanted to be firm, fair,honest,and sincere,and i strove to do just that.
sincerely i c l
 

<< Return to the standard message view

fetched in 0.02 sec, referred by http://www.curezone.org/forums/fmp.asp?i=669727