Date:   11/25/2005 3:14:37 PM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   2,226
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=669560

Hello!

A year and a half, gosh...
That's a good while. I know very little about men, but I do know one thing: you don't have to make it easy for them. They will fight their way up that salmon ladder to get to you if they want to. Men know where they are going (or at least think they know) and they definitely know who they want to be with when they get there.

What caught my eye is that he became more demonstrative (flowers, I love you) at the very same time that you distanced yourself; THAT is when he took a step closer.

There have been people in my life, dating and non-dating, who REALLY needed me to stay put; they were terribly anxious about wanting me to stand still, not move away and not move closer either. Not to say he is one of them, but...

"I love you" isn't what I look for any more, not in words anyway, but certainly in gestures. But I have never heard of any man who says "I love you" more often after he is married than before. And it seems puzzling that he isn't showing you off to his family and kids.

So, ya, I would wonder.
Maybe you could lighten up a little and relax and take a breather, let him do the contacting you for a while? Is that possible? Just let him do all the initiative and take his sweet time about it. In fact, if he wants more time and space you could treat him to lots.

You could make more plans with other single moms and their kids, and do wonderful things; be all sweet and lightsome and a little more busy doing other rewarding activities. Maybe even make an alternate plan for Christmas Day and not mention the holiday at all unless he presses the point.

Does that make any sense?

Best wishes,
Autumn
 

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