Date:   11/23/2005 11:47:35 PM ( 19 y ago)
Hits:   2,589
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=669535

Warning: this is long! I am in a relationship where I am having some difficulty defining some issues. I hope I can make this make sense! I have been dating this man for a year in August. So almost a year and a half. He is divorced and has two children. When I met him he had been divorced almost two years. His wife left him for another man while he was over seas in the Army, they were married ten years. I was the first woman he dated since the divorce. He said he had sex with a woman from work the first month he was divorced, but they didn't date. We started dating and four months into the realtionship an old boyfriend who I had broke up with six months before came back into the picture. I told the man I am seeing now that I needed to see this other man to make sure that I was doing the right thing. He took this really hard and I felt like I was being up front. We had not been saying "I love yous" so the relationship was not to that point yet. Needless to say I realized the old boyfriend was all wrong for me and cut that relationship off for good. The man I am dating now stood by my side while I was making this decision and that is one of the main reasons I wanted to be with him because I felt that if he stayed around while I was clearing my head that said a lot about him. Well, we were only broke up a month and got back together and that was in April. After we got back together he then said now he felt like he couldn't trust me and wanted to slow down. We are still at that point seven months later. He won't tell me that he loves me and the only time he ever has is when I told him I needed time back in March to work out my feelings. If I ask him if he does, he just gets frustrated with me and says stuff like "why do you think I'm around?". We are only seeing each other and he calls me several times a day and we see each other when ever possible. I have also never met his children or family. His children live out of state and he only gets them three times a year. He says I've never met his family because his father will drive me nuts with questions about my life and it would embarrass him. I have the feeling he resents his father. I have been to his parents house when they are out of town before since he stays at thier house on the weekends so I know he's not leading a double life. Also I can reach him at any time and he stays at my house for days at a time, or I go to his. I am just having trouble with him not telling me he loves me. I need that! He always tells me how he always gave his wife flowers and gifts and how it was a one sided relationship, he was more in love with her. He bought me flowers once when we were broke up. He didn't even get me a card for my birthday. When I try to break it off he tells me that I am not giving him time and I am making a big mistake. He said he is not going to say I love you to someone until he gets married because he said any one can say it and no one takes it for real any more. I do agree, but I am at that point, I have been for a long time but he keeps me from telling my feelings because he doesn't offer his! I am so frustrated that I am about to end it. His children are down right now and he is staying at his parents and he hasn't even made plans to see me for Thanksgiving. They live 15 minutes away. I want a mate to spend holidays with and such. I have a six year old daughter and I don't see why he never invites us to go along with him and his sons. I invited him to my daughters birthday party last week and he came. His boys were down for eight weeks this summer and went to the water parks all the time and never once did he invite us. He took the boys bowling tonite and I don't see any reason why we couldn't have gone. He calls me while he is there and I want to say something so bad, but it would start a big issue. I want to say "you can call me but you can't take me?" I am just dying inside. Part of me tells myself it is time to cut the ties and get over it. I feel like it's been long enough for him to deal with his feelings. This is my life too and I have stuck by his side as well, seven months compared to his one! Besides this issue we get along great. I am so confused!
 

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