Date:   9/8/2005 9:55:05 PM ( 19 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=669218

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Well said, brendella.
I've been down this road a few years ago with my fiancee, and a mutual friend. My best friend actually, who is now my child's godmother...the fiancee is history. Our situation was quite different, though, and this really had no bearing on the ending of an already bad relationship.
Just know that you are not alone in this - I agree that you need to tell her and the other gal that your wife is #1 in your world. I am assuming from your post that as soon as your realized who you were inside, you stopped? Remind your wife of that. Don't do things like this - impetuous things - when drunk. Not to be funny, but at least sober you can better feel who is who so this won't happen again. I read that you say you are both ready to end this 3some relationship, that is the best thing I think.
My advice may sound silly, but take her away, even an hour out of town, for a night. But go somewhere you don't usually go - a different town, different hotel, somewhere you won't be going again. Take with you: 2 candles, matches, a notepad and a pen. On the notepad write down your mistakes, your regrets, what brought you to this bad place. Each of you do this, and then, important, TALK about what you wrote. Get it out there, air the dirty laundry. Cry, yell, talk, whatever. But get it out in the open. Then light the two candles and each take one and burn the damn list of regrets and troublesome acts. Burn it together, as one. Tell her you love her. And go to bed, lie there, and hold each other, caress each other, fool around all you want. But set a limit beforehand of no sex, just a night of intimacy and caring. When you get up in the morning and you close the door on the hotel room, you close the door on the past, and move together to the future, and don't bring up this incident again. I want you to go somewhere you dont usually go because I dont want in the future for you to go there and think of the night you "burned away your problems" and then it could all come back again.
It will take a LONG time to heal - my suggestion, like I said, sounds weird, but seriously, try it, it can be very cathartic. At this point, you have nothing to lose. I wish you luck, please keep us posted.


 

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