Re: HONOR (celebrate their integrity?) your parents??? or give them the recognition they deserve? by parismatch ..... Relationship Support Forum
Date: 8/10/2005 12:12:23 PM ( 19 y ago)
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URL: https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=669073
I'm sorry, but your message was wordy but didn't make a lot of clear sense.
Matthew 18 is clear about forgiveness - when we are forgiven so great a debt by God, then we have no right to hold unforgiveness in our heart (hold to account a debt of another person toward us), then we will suffer inside ourselves. This is what was referred by Jesus as 'being turned over to the tormentors'.
It's not a matter of necessarily every time going to that person and saying, "I forgive you" but rather checking oneself to be certain that one is not holding a grudge, judgment, transgression committed by another as an 'accounting of a debt'. Each person knows in their heart when they have something against someone who has wronged them. If that is not released, it will fester inside of US (the one holding the accounting of wrong committed against him/her.
This was clearly evidenced in the initial post by the young gal who started this thread. She has recurrent cancer, and is sick inside.
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you, #4715 said, in conclusion to your post:
>>My point is, forgiveness should not be a consideration let alone a requirement >>for healing,...
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I'm sorry but you are very wrong and obviously have little experience in ministering to persons who have had deep emotional trauma or pain. Try ministering to an SRA victim (Satanic Ritual Abuse) and your brand of doctrine will not go far, believe me. I have seen a woman who went thru the most heinous abuse and torture, and yet because of her relationship with Christ and by the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit was able to forgive her perpetrators (adoptive parents who were Satanists, and others). Of course, God doesn't need us to repent of being angry at Him, but the individual who has been angry with God for feeling abandoned and left in an abusive situation often needs to repair that through the steps of forgiveness/asking Him for forgiveness for being angry at Him. It's a living relationship that needs to be cleared--for the sake of the human being who needs healing and not because God did something wrong.
We honor our parents because we came from them, and we honor them because of who they are, not because of their track record. It is the first command with a promise, that it would go well with us if we do so. We are not to despise our own flesh...we are connected with our parents and ancestors and it is self-defeating and unprofitable to dishonor them. That does not mean that we necessarily have to be around an abusive parent or shower them with gooey love and attention. Each situation is different, and the Spirit will lead each person to a place of peace regarding how much contact to have with an abusive parent. We can at least choose not to dishonor as a starting place. THE POINT IS TO BRING THE WOUNDED PERSON TO A PLACE WHERE THEY ARE NOT HURTING THEMSELVES BY THEIR OWN RESPONSES TO AND REACTIONS FROM BEING ABUSED....to get released. Honoring one's parents helps in this regard.
I think that you misunderstand that verse--the person that chooses to harbor unforgiveness is the one that is turned over to the tormentors. Usually the other person is oblivious and fairs quite well and even prospers while the wounded one turns bitter, lives with anger and rage and generally gets ill physically and/or mentally (depression, etc.)
Forgiveness and repentence are foundational tools in inner healing before any other work can be done. Try doing deliverance on a person who hasn't done this, and you will have demons who know that they have an absolute LEGAL RIGHT to remain in the person's life. The demon will even tell you so, that they don't have to leave. Sometimes they won't tell you, but you know that you need for the person to do more forgiving or repenting....then, VOILA.....the demon leaves with no problem whatsover. I work in deliverance ministry week in and week out, and this is in-the-trenches stuff that is tested and proven.
I'm sorry to say, but sir, your post contains several errors that don't hold up to the light of scripture nor would they hold up to any real life ministerial setting with real people who are deeply wounded. If you even try to play around in that area with the theories you espouse, you will either be unsuccessful in helping or you will hurt someone further. And they don't need that when they are already damaged.
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